Why can't we trust each other in today's world? Is trusting a big problem with even nations viewing each other with suspicion? COLIN SAVIO COELHO dwells into the reasons for distrust becoming the order of the day in many lives. He also encompasses the various traits that can lead to better trust and stronger relationships.
Do you trust enough?Is it really worth trusting anyone in this world today? This is a million dollar question which keeps cropping in and out of our mind. We tend to hear a lot of talk about mistrust. As Derrick was walking down the street he heard an elderly lady say, 'I can never trust my neighbor. He always tries to make trouble for me.' It is so common to hear about people not trusting another for unpleasant reasons and experiences.
The touch of trust
It is so easy to develop a great trust in our parents. When we are toddlers, and trying to take our first steps, we are very familiar with that strong fatherly hand that guided us. It is a great trust-building touch. A child is very confident that he is being guided by the strong trusting hands of his father. This is definitely something that builds a strong bond of trust between father and child.
A child also has a natural bond with the mother. The very fact that we spent nine months of our initial life in her womb is a bond of trust enough. Our mothers would take care to make sure she ate well, took good medical advice and even made sure she did not exert herself. She did all this only to make sure you were protected. This automatically develops our bond of trust with our mothers.
Traits of trust
Trust is all about letting others know about your feelings and emotions. You would have the confidence that they will never smite you or take advantage of you. When one trusts another and shares intimately, it is but natural that the person would expect the other not to go painting the town red with what was shared in confidence.
When you trust, you usually shed your mask and are liable to exhibit your weaknesses. But you expect the person you trust to be supportive and encouraging despite this. You tend to assume that the other you trust will not be hurt if you make a mistake in your weak hour.
Generally, when you trust you place yourself in a position of vulnerability and yet you expect the other to treat you fairly in all honesty.
Why do we not trust?
As we move along in life, we are confronted by what is today known as the big bad world. When some traits of trust are misused, we have an emotionally stressful situation. We are hurt and the dreaded feeling of mistrust creeps in. 'Why did I every listen to Meena?' questioned Natasha. Her good friend of many years had betrayed her trust. She had told the whole class about the embarrassing situation she had shared with her. It resulted in the whole class teasing Natasha and in turn, Meena was no longer her trusted friend.
We must have encountered many a similar situation. It simply puts us in a mind where we begin to even distrust ourselves. Natasha's immediate thought was, 'I don't know how to judge who is a good friend and who is not!'
We often feel we cannot trust because we are hurt at the hands of another person. We tend to reflect this distrust to include the whole of mankind. This can eventually lead into a low self-esteem that makes us feel that we don't deserve to be friends with anyone or vice versa. We become victims and are mortally afraid of being victims again. How can we trust in such a situation? This question still lingers on
The healing touch
Trust is one of the most basic principles of the world. Trust is one of the most important parts of social living. We need to trust our parents, siblings, teachers, elders. We even need to trust our politicians, that they as lawmakers will do the best for us. It is not very easy to build trust with some groups of people. But a healing a few healing thoughts some good attitudes could change this.
We need to start by putting our hopes in the good of mankind. We need to take courage and believe that no one is evil or bad. Is that too much of a risk?
Life in its entire splendor has a way of treating us fairly. But when we trust in fairness of life we are open to others and become very vulnerable. But we must remember, if we are fair with others we always have this fairness coming back to us in the right proportion. It is really worth being fair in life.
We also often tend to be very competitive. This in turn begets jealousy and defensiveness besides other dangerous feelings. When we have less of this within us, we are well on our way to developing mutual trust with mankind as a whole. We need to let the fear of the unknown get out of our systems. Fear can immobilize your essential emotional development. If we throw the feat out of the window, we are on the right track to trusting without fear.
The importance of self-trust
Accepting who you are is one of the most important aspects of trusting yourself. We must learn to accept ourselves. When we have achieved this we can make a better self-revelation when we encounter others. This will result in gaining better trust and building better relationships.
No doubt when you reveal yourself you are exposed, but this is imperative in building trusts. This will help others accept you for what you are rather than what they want you to be. The risk of being hurt if you reveal a lot about yourself is always staring in your face, but there is no other way of building great trust bonds