11 Nov 2020  |   06:00am IST

An "app"solutely pleasant time not guaranteed

Newspapers are replete with stories of crime and of the odd murder committed by men who met women online on dating apps. Many of these apps don’t have basic information veracity systems in place. Café spoke to people who have used it and others who know people who use it.

Team Cafe

They help connect people across cultures and across the seven seas. Or for that matter with people who could be living just across the street.  Apps like Tinder, Facebook, Plenty of Fish, MeetME has cast their web wide and have attracted people who have subscribed to their services from all over the place.  However like everything in this world that involves interacting with people there is a strong possibility of misuse.

It is not unusual to read about a young girl or a woman who disappeared after meeting a guy on Tinder. The internet is undoubtedly dangerous and these apps if not used with care can result in one being left in very uncomfortable situations.

Sanjana Nair who has just started working said she did not feel the need to be on Tinder and any other dating apps. She said she understood the need for others to be on it. The app she felt could be dangerous but in Goa it would be a little difficult because everyone knew everyone.  She also articulated the fear of many women when she said the possibility of fake id’s was pretty high. Sanjana said “There are so many dating apps in the market now and the fear is the same in all of them. I don’t see myself using such a profile now or in the future. Better safe than sorry. One reads of the gory deaths of women all over the world murdered by men they met online.”

Freddy D Souza said he did not use it personally, but knew a friend who was on Tinder.  Freddy said “My friend is based in Goa and has been using it for a while.  In my experience most of the guys using it are bored sitting at home. Some of them spin yarns online. If I was a girl, I would not trust any of the stuff written on these apps. I would make all the attempts to check out on the guy before meeting him face to face. I know of people who started using Tinder while he was in school. It is easy to fudge information on these profiles. He was feeling low after suffering a breakdown whilst at school and he wanted to use the apps to make friends.”

Christopher D Souza said he had suffered heartbreak after meeting women online on apps like Tinder and Hangout. He said he met a woman from Indonesia with whom he developed a deep relationship despite having not met her. Over a period of time, they started communicating on Whatsapp but then one day out of the blue she stopped communicating with him. She had ghosted Christopher without providing a reason. This happened the second time with another girl that left him feeling heartbroken and suffering a mental breakdown. He said “I went off these apps, you have to remember, and it can be quite addictive being on these apps”. Christopher said a female friend of his in Mumbai had a very bad experience on a dating app with guys harassing her and many of the guys posting fake information about themselves.

One can only hope individuals seeking to use the services of these apps employ caution and commonsense.