The number of people we know does not equal the number of true friends we have. Biblical King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived puts it this way: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” If your relationships are in disarray, simplified living will be a distant dream, rather than a present reality. By evaluating, pruning, expanding, bordering, and deepening your relationships, you can maximize the energy and joy they bring to your new life.
In a true friendship, you move beyond pretending to be someone you are not. You are accepted, and you accept the person. True friends love one another. You do what is best for your friends above what is best for yourself. There is a give-and-take that satisfies both parties in the friendship. True friends cheer one another’s victories. You mark life’s milestones together. Who would not want to experience a friendship like that? Our lives would be all the richer.
When I was a boy, every time I left the house to play, my Dad would say anxiously: “Watch out who you hang with after the game son, bad influence rubs off.” Dad was warning me not to be influenced by other boys’ bad decisions or habits. Bad influence rubs off in our grown-up world too. Perhaps you work in an environment where profanity flows like a polluted river all day, every day. Can profanity rub off? May be you work in a particular environment, where the whole game is making more money, no matter what it takes to get it. Can greed rub off? At parties where the main event is alcohol consumption, can overdrinking rub off? Solomon, the wise man, was so aware of unalterable reality that he admonished us to choose our friends wisely: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Parents start warning their kids about this in middle school: “Do not hang out with the wrong at school.” Bad influence rubs off. Fathers admonish their sons before they drive off to college: “Hey, son, find a good set of friends when you get to campus.” Bad influence rubs off. When we surround ourselves with wise, mature, good people, their high character rubs off on us too.
Solomon lists seven character traits that are so offensive to God, they should act as red warning lights, flashing “Danger!” when we spot them in a friend or acquaintance: “There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
Solomon says if you see any of these traits in people who are your circle of acquaintance, put up your guard. You can be kind to them, pray for them, or help meet a need in their lives. But do not even think about inviting them into your inner circle of friendship. Why? Because stuff rubs off. No matter how strong you are, people who are prideful, dishonest, mean-spirited, and divisive will negatively influence your character, inhibit your development as a person, and impede your spiritual growth. The apostle Paul puts it this way: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”