SATURDAY, APRIL 27, 2024
Tallulah D'Silva
Do you fast? Have you ever fasted?
No. Never! Surely not the 40 days one.
As a child, I remember the instances of all of us as a family, fasting only on Good Friday. Kanji and toracho was the staple of the day. We all loved it but yes there were moments we would feel hungry. This once a year ‘sacrifice’ although small in effort reminded and taught us the value of self-control, humility and the fact that we had to curb our hunger pangs and cravings for meat and fish. This was further enhanced by prayers and watching the enactment of Jesus walking with the cross and finally his crucifixion.
My friends fasted too. Some of my friends in college particularly girls observed a fast either twice or thrice a week. My friend’s mothers observed longer fasts. Some friends observed longer fasts during Ramzan.
As I grew older I had given up even this small one day fast, thinking that perhaps it does not make any difference because my mind is strong anyway.
Lately I have been observing more and more people both students, young adults and older individuals taking to fasting. A few of my interns have really inspired me because one is vegetarian by choice since she was a child and a couple of interns fast regularly. They are boys and I was keen to know why they fast. One says his mother and father follow certain days of fasting so it came naturally to him. He says fasting means regulation and at a larger level it means we are being mindful of the food resources used, limiting waste and not being over dependent on only meat resources. The other feels it teaches him to say no. Denial teaches him the lesson that he can manage with less, he can accept a no. I have a student who fasts for the 30 days during Ramzan. It involves not just fasting but prayer, reflection and community engagement. So amazing isn't it to do this together as a community?
My episodes of fasting were near non-existent and were a huge mind block. I was prone to migraine headaches if I skipped a meal or had to be out in the sun.
I decided to fast this Lent. What was the reason? I have received so many graces and blessings all these years. But this does not mean that they were bereft of challenges or hardships. The more patience one has, the instances of being driven against the wall subtly increase. The more kinder one is, that too can be taken for granted. The pressures and demands from family, community, profession can sometimes be extremely energy draining. And I would find instances where I would seem to slip. I would get irritated, be impatient and succumb to reacting to situations even after a long patient spell. I thought I needed to make my mind and spirit more stronger. It may sound silly or bizarre but that was my predicament.
How to fast? Where to start? Can I give up a meal? Will I manage?
I started and gave up dinner. The first day was football night with the children. And they had planned a feast with their friends after the match. I felt the pangs of gluttony. I was bracing myself. The temptations were obviously heightened with the self-imposed restrictions! But as soon as I reflected on my resolve, all feelings of greed, gluttony just disappeared. I began beaming. My son who was earlier feeling sorry for me asked why I was looking so radiant. I smiled and said, ‘I won’. He understood.
Since that first day, I have been able to peer deep into my soul to recognize real hunger, control any pangs, reflect on my emotions, understand external people dynamics and have more patience, be more detached to material things and be less reactionary.
It has been so liberating. I am feeling more lighter, happier, more giving,
more childlike.
And this makes me often recall my childhood spent put in the wild. Nature is so giving, soothing, so peaceful. Do animals fast? Do trees fast? What happens when there is no water, less air, no sunlight, less minerals in the soil, etc? Trees adapt. Animals adapt, Nature adapts. Humans too have adapted over time and in different situations. Today we see the extremes. At one level humans have attained a complete sense of detachment from the material world. They are at peace and they exude peace and a serene energy. Then there are others who continue to spew hate, are discriminatory, exploitative and criminal. And we are witnessing this in the wars in Gaza and Ukraine. We are seeing this in our country as religious intolerance, caste differences and hatred is being spread in communities disrupting peace and harmony. If our mind is weak, our resolve not strong, it becomes so easy for externalities to manipulate and break us. Imagine each of us using these tools of fasting. Imagine a world where fasting and not only feasting becomes a norm. Imagine our leaders adopting this as a non violent tool to make peace and reduce strife, oppression and injustice. Imagine if this becomes a way of life. When I began this fast, my partner too joined me. A few friends shared their tryst with fasting incidentally at this same time.
It is beginning to spread such a lovely vibe and happiness that does not come from money or material pleasures. I don't feel like stopping or ending this surreal moment. I'm ready to fast for life. Are you?
(Tallulah D’Silva is an Architect and silver awardee of the Golden Door Award 2020 for truth and integrity)
