Imagine you are a king living in a castle in a faraway hill, with restricted access to the local food market. Ok, Goans that squandered the chance to vote like kings in the recent elections are also free to imagine themselves as the king, just this one time. Since the King’s castle is not accessible by road, he has standing instructions to his staff to always stock up on provisions, so that they never have to face any food shortage and risk his reputation. There is a annual feast coming up in about a fortnight and the king is all excited because he gets a chance to play host to the entire kingdom he controls, with good food and drinks on the house. A good king that he is, he takes pleasure in providing a good time to his people even if it is meant for a day.

The king has two very important people that manage his affairs, the cook and the butler. Both are extremely busy at this time of the year, since the feast is fast approaching and it is their responsibility that everything goes smoothly. The King’s castle has two storerooms earmarked to store foodstuff the castle normally consumes, cooking salt being an important ingredient is kept in both store rooms, just in case. Usually the policy is that sufficient salt is stocked in the castle, enough for a year. A fortnight before this big event the cook and the butler find out that there is not a grain of salt in the castle in both the locations. Since at that time there were no modern inventory or security systems invented, somebody had taken advantage of these shortcomings and stole the entire stock of salt leaving the King high and dry. 

The King on realising this incident summons his two Men Friday, the cook and the butler to find out the exact circumstances and to seek their inputs on how to resolve it. Both are quick to point out that there is salt shortage in the entire kingdom and most people have been going without consuming it for months now. A good King that he is, he is taken aback for not knowing about the shortage, as he enjoyed tasty guilt free food while his people were subject to salt less food. Coming back to the feast, salt cannot be procured from the neighboring kingdom, as it is just not possible considering the paucity of time. The King is now upset but he is reassured by his two most trusted men, that they will procure salt before the day of the feast. 

For two weeks the King has his meals, but without salt, he silently endures the loss of taste but with every passing day his helpless is becoming more and more visible, since his trusted men have not been able to lay hands on any salt. However, each time he gets a rather confident reassuring reply that the feast food will go just fine. Finally on the eve of the feast the butler brings a bag of salt, just enough for the feast and the feast dinner goes on just fine as promised. 

The King breathes a sigh of relief as the feast day passes without any more unpleasant surprises. Night dawns, the guests leave, but the king still cannot get over this strong urge to find out what exactly happened to the original stock of salt. It was never about the salt, but the King cannot accept someone stealing from his castle and rendering him a helpless victim of circumstances. Meantime, he also notices the rising popularity of the butler since he had managed to bail the King on time, it was only natural that word would go around and his heroics would come to the notice of the entire kingdom. 

Restless, the King calls for one of his confidant to investigate the entire episode and report back. The confidant makes his inquiries and within no time reports back to the king. Turns out, as there was shortage of salt the cook started selling the stock of salt the castle had procured for pieces of gold and silver. Greed had overtaken the cook so much that he exhausted the entire stock he had access to. He then went on stealing salt which the butler had access to. The butler became aware of the situation at the very fag end but instead of reporting it to the King chose to keep quite. So when the King called the cook and the butler, the butler sensing an opportunity to make a make a good name for him forced the cook to let some his customers return back the booty of salt. Although he could procure the salt on the very next day itself, he intentionally delayed it till the last day, because in doing he had started to enjoy the King’s desperation for salt.

The King as soon as he finds out the truth sacks both his Men Friday and banishes them out of his kingdom. The King is prepared to take some pain since the new cook and the butler would take time to come to the level of the banished ones, but refuses to show any mercy. If they had to continue, they would have sold the entire kingdom leaving the king with no kingdom. A good King that he is, he never treated his people slaves and surely did not want to live like one at the mercy of his cook and butler. The decision came swiftly and without emotions because his mentality was that of a King.

Goa has many cooks and butlers manipulating Goan expectations successfully. While the King did not show mercy to the stealing cook, he also made sure the butler is shown the door, because any leniency towards the butler even though he had resolved the salt issue, would mean the butler being given a freehand to create probably a meat shortage at the next annual feast. The Butler would then get used to creating an artificial problem and reinvent himself with fake solution. 

Has it occurred to Goans that most politicians irrespective of the parties they belong too are always pulling a fast one on us because of our inability to decipher their problem/solution games? Actually why shouldn’t they; Goans have a reputation of not only voting the fake solution provider but the problem originator too. We have voted for ages the same politician that created a mountain of garbage and at the same time will be quick to glorify the politician that manages to clear it away. So before you start to imagine you are a King, think hard if you really deserve it.  

(The author is a business consultant)