WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2024
Here in India a woman is brought up to believe that her husband is god. And a woman treats her husband accordingly.
Even she walks a step behind her husband. As you settle down you will find that Celine places before you food, that is overdone and burnt. But you must not conclude that she is no good in the kitchen. That is not really so. In fact I can testify that both Celine and her mother are great cooks for I have dined at their home in the past.
I will request you to revisit the Old Testament. And you will read that God came down to earth in a cloud of fire and men placed burnt offerings before him. That is what happens with brides during the honeymoon period. They treat their husbands as gods of the Old Testament and place burnt offerings before them. But this will pass. Soon your wife will realise that her husband is no God but a human being. And it is then, you will get all that tasty well done and delicious food. You may then invite me for lunch or dinner!
And now this is to both of you. We Indians are a cricket crazy people. When a match is on, life comes to a standstill. You will find married life is like a cricket match. Ismael, as I know him, is a fast bowler. There will be days when he will come charging in fast and furious and bowling short. Normally Celine you must swerve or duck and allow the ball to go harmlessly by. But sometimes the bouncers become too many. At such times you must be prepared to hook or pull and send the ball flying over the boundary. Nothing chastises a fast bowler more than being ruthlessly hit. Things will return to normal soon.
But Ismael you may have a more difficult time at the crease when Celine has the ball in her hands. No, she will not come charging at you. For, she is a lady. She will come with a smile on her lips roll her arms over and deliver. And you will not know whether it is a googly or a chinaman or whatsoever. The ball will do something you never imagined it could and hit the wicket. Head down you will have to walk to the pavilion. But of course there is always second innings. Marriage, after all is a test match, not a one day international!
Wives of course have irritating ways sometimes. Imagine you are on a holiday. You are half way to the destination. Your wife will tap you and ask sweetly, ‘Did you put off the iron?’ Of course you do not remember clearly. You have doubts. But you say yes I did, just to put her off. The rest of the trip you are haunted by doubts. Did I put off the iron? But your wife does not really believe you. She knows your ways and your answers. So the next day she casually queries ‘when does the fire insurance expire?’ You say there is time to it. Actually you do not know and your mind is full of worry. The result is your entire holiday has gone up in smoke. So I suggest when you go on a trip carry the iron with you. It then does not matter whether the power button is on or off. Besides it will help iron out any differences that may arise on the trip!
“And finally let me take you to the beginning. The Genesis. Chapter1:28. After Adam and Eve had disobeyed God they were banished from the Garden of Eden. And God said to them. Go forth and multiply. Ever since man has been multiplying. And we Goans are second to none when it comes to multiplication.
But there is a problem, despite the multiplication the population of our community on this red soil of Goa is declining year after year. The church is complaining that young men are not joining priesthood. But where are the young men? Soon there will be churches but none to attend them. It is already happening in Bardez. And without us, Goa will never be Goa. Nothing wrong to go abroad to earn, but you must return to your roots. Sadly that is not happening. After your working life is over wherever you are remember, that the Lord only said “Go forth and multiply”. But the Lord never said “Multiply and Go”! You have a duty to your mother land to come back.
And remember one more thing. A happy marriage does not mean you do not get angry with or do not find fault with or do not quarrel with or do not get cross with each other. No. Not at all. A happy marriage means all these unsavoury things do happen but you resolve them quickly and amicably.
(“And continue with life as if none of these things have happened.”)
(An excerpt from the author’s forthcoming novel).
(Radharao F. Gracias
is a senior Trial Court
Advocate and a former
Independent MLA.)
