Many amongst us are fortunate enough to afford the luxury of leisurely vacationing in exotic and tranquil locations during this holiday season. To escape the rigors and drudgery of mundane schedules, its fitting enough when one longs to escape into an unprecedented space to pacify our frayed nerves and seek solace. And such was my experience. After much contemplation, I was convinced to attend an Inner healing retreat. After being briefed and initiated into it, I was skeptical of the choice I had made. Being a practicing Roman Catholic by faith, the desire to pursue my faith deeply came after much persuasion.

Its amazing when we hear of people being healed of various ailments through a miraculous intervention. Albeit it’s another feeling altogether when it happens to oneself. I was completely in awe of what intervened later. Many of us go about our lives accepting our misery as if it was our destined fate. Nonetheless we are the makers of our destiny. But we rely on our religious beliefs to guide our moral conscience. Humans as we are, we are inept in many ways and bound to falter, making us rely on God’s grace in humility by acknowledging our sinfulness. A penitent sinner is promised God’s mercy and pardon even in grievous circumstances through the sacrament of Reconciliation. But our final judgement rests in the hands of our Heavenly Father. The kingdom of God is not far fetched but it exists in our own communities where we are urged to be living witnesses to our times. On many occasions our rites and rituals are a mere gimmick and represent our emptiness. We get easily dejected when crises catch us off guard and God’s presence pervades us. Its these moments that actually test the consistency of our faith.

It is impossible for us to rely on our own strengths to combat issues. While we believe that independence and autonomy makes us more in charge of ourselves , it in fact isolates us into seclusion. When guilt and torment confounds us, it leaves us in an ambiguous state and diminishes our capacity to perceive the reality with a distorted vision. When one understands the reality of this, they seek medical assistance to combat the illness. We have physical wounds that can leave us with visible scars but it’s the emotional and psychological traumas that can  disintegrate us. That is why people resort to substance abuse to escape the reality of themselves. This shame makes the victim display rancour towards themselves and eventually despise their lives. It takes a lot of courage to accept our iniquities and surrender them before our Creator. At times its much easier to trust a God that we cannot see than to rely on humans who thwart our expectations.

Miracles seem like a happenstance when we least expect it to. It completely leaves us in awe. Such was my experience. At times we put God to the test when all our options have exhausted. It has been an amazing journey all the way through in understanding the beauty of my brokenness.