21 Sep 2022  |   06:16am IST

How to Enjoy Solitude

Rodney Almeida

We all seek social connections, that’s what gives us value and we want to be heard and seen by others, that is the basic human need and desire. In today’s world of technology where we are connected to each other by means of social media and phones we still feel lonely. Studies reveal that loneliness is one of the leading factors in deaths.

So what is the difference between loneliness and solitude? Loneliness is associated with negative feelings where one is disconnected from oneself and seeking validation from others for our well being. We want to share our thoughts and feelings to others. When these needs are not met then we go spiralling through the maze of confusion and distortion leading us to major health issues like depression and sometimes thoughts of suicide.

Solitude on the other hand is the way you treat your own self. Acceptance and self love are the dominant features of solitude. When one accepts the situation as it is and feels compassion and love for oneself then the other is not required. Buddha used to say that “When the treasure is in the house why do you go begging everywhere”. Solitude is the way you enjoy your own company. It is your relationship with God and the Universe. It is the way you talk to yourself and treat yourself.

To enjoy your own company there are no rules and commitments, you are your own boss. You can do what you want, sleep for as long as you want or you can go on a journey of self discovery by keeping a journal and recording your thoughts and feelings. There are many ways you can enjoy solitude. One of the ways is to find your passion to express yourself in this world. When we speak to others our words are limited to the way we express our self. In my own journey of self expression and to express the beauty within myself over the past 25 years I have tried many mediums like drawing, painting, music, singing and performance art. I am not a professional writer but I kept a journal of my thoughts and feelings over the past 15 years and that’s how I realised that I can express myself through writing. I can reach out to multiple people through my writing.

We all seek love and attention from others but what about the way you treat your own self. When we treat our own self badly and punish ourselves then we seek love in the wrong places. Treat yourself with respect and dignity and you will heal yourself. There are lots of things to do in solitude; many activities, but this article is not about doing something in solitude rather a guide to self love and respect. Are you treating yourself with love and respect?

When you are gentle with yourself the world and all the people in this world will start looking beautiful to you. There is another saying by Buddha that “if you truly love yourself then you cannot hurt another”. Loneliness on the other hand is the lack of self love and the desire of wanting validation from others and to be heard and seen by others. Have you felt lonely and unwanted in this world? Then think again and change your relationship with yourself and treat yourself with respect and dignity.


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