Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame

Too many kids are becoming desensitized to violence, and have learned that anger is the only way to solve a problem. Anger disorders are a product of long-term anger mismanagement. They are a pathological misdirection of normal aggressive feelings. Anger is, at its essence, a part of the basic biological reaction to danger, the fight or flight response. The physiological shift makes us stop thinking and mobilise for immediate action, as though our life depends on it. It is a primitive response, and very powerful. Anger prepares us to stand our ground and fight. It helped our ancestors survive, but in today’s complex technological world, it is often more hindrance than help. The angrier you feel, the less clearly you can think, and therefore the less able you are to negotiate, take a new perspective, or effectively handle a provocation.

A 19-year-old boy from Delhi who stabbed his father and mother 26 times, and sister seven times, may have been "addicted" to an online game. According to the police, Suraj alias Sarnam Verma, had rented a room in Delhi where he would spend hours with his friends watching TV and playing online games. The Delhi Police arrested Suraj on Wednesday evening. He is accused of killing his family members because they would scold him for his poor academic performance.

The violence that is a part of anger disorders is fueled by chronic repressed rage that has found no socially acceptable outlet. It is fostered by families in which adults behave in violent, intimidating ways or in which anger is tightly repressed. In either situation there is no appropriate model for the safe or constructive expression of anger.

Uncontrolled anger has become our No. 1 mental health issue. Though we have the understanding and the skills to treat the anger epidemic in this country, as a culture, we have been unwilling to accept the violence problem as one that belongs to each and every one of us. We have sought scapegoats in minority cultures, racial groups, and now the mentally ill  it is crucial for parents to realize that when their son's or daughter's anger is out of control, he or she needs to be treated by a professional. When the warning signs of uncontrollable anger go unheeded, a child's emotional flare-ups can spiral into violence resulting in tragedy-as in the recent case of Suraj charged with murder for fatally stabbing his father, mother and sister.