- It is LONELY out there!
It is LONELY out there!
03 Dec 2017 05:36am IST
03 Dec 2017 05:36am IST
The pressure to achieve the desired results can sometimes lead to fatigue, dejection and depression. Youngsters, who fail to make it, are rebuked by their parents who often impose their ‘dream’ and subsequently induce perilous pressure in their lives. Many who cannot live up to the expectations fall prey to vices and often find themselves in the streets of depression, not afraid to take the final step of ending their sojourn. NESHWIN ALMEIDA tries to find some answers
The recent news of Chester Benington, the lead singer of the popular rock band Linkin Park, who took his own life, rekindled the discourse on depression, delusion and desperation and the cascading factors that lure to the doorsteps of suicide.
This trend is rising in Goa too at an alarming pace and efforts needs to be undertaken at various levels to ensure that it is curbed before it assumes abnormal proportions.
Recently a boy from Mulgaon ended his life in an unfortunate manner just because his parents denied him a mobile phone. Another case that followed similar trend was of a young girl who took the drastic step because her parents disallowed her to use her phone.
What one fails to understand in these two cases is that the act may merely become an alibi to the drastic action and the cause may lie undetected elsewhere. We may shrug off in denial, but depression and loneliness may have entrapped many in Goa with its vice-like embrace.
Perhaps, going by the persona of its residents, with their ever-so jovial and happy-go-lucky flair, one would not say that the malice of depression-related suicides is present. But do not be fooled by the hollow laughter that rises on the crest, beneath that false smile lies depression and dejection, that lets the mind fill itself with negative thoughts and ‘a way out.’
“Goa is completely different nowadays, with the influence of television and the internet. A child is trained to be entertained by themselves or through a phone or a tab and hence grows up with limited human interaction or rather is not trained to share thoughts, which has its own repercussions,” explains speech therapist Sheela Pereira, who explains that children today struggle to talk and relate to public, which is a concern.
Migration and relocating too has added to the problem. In cases when parents go abroad leaving the children behind the effect can be disastrous for the children. In many case this compels the child or children to go into their shell, talk less and snap communication.
“This also happens when Goan parents working in the gulf send their children to Goan for further studies, often asked to live with their grandparents or even strangers, creating a huge communication gap that further leads to depression,” says Santino Fernandes, who relates to the problem, as he nurses his injuries and managing himself, while his parents are in Dubai.
But counselor Rina Naik, who shifts between various schools as a Goa Board appointee, explains that the biggest problem at homes is the inability of that parents don’t develop enough time and parents fail to connect and understand their child’s complications and emotions, which builds up with no solutions and that’s a basic cause to depression which leads to many other things.
Naik, a part-time councillor, also looks at the other side of the story, from the parents’ perspective and how they toil to realise the dreams of the family. Unfortunately, in quest for their ambitions they find it hard to devote enough time for their children.
A deeper look will also reveal that the nuclear families too do not escape this problem and in fact children of nuclear families are often neglected and have to find toys or pets to amuse themselves.
“Small families and nuclear families too have problems of their own. Often there are no grandparents, cousins, and families are small with one child in many cases, who is left without much of human interaction that makes them aloof, as they find it hard to communicate with others,” explains Jeten Lotlikar, who conducts child Aptitude Testing and often notices that children have dreams and aspirations that sometimes defer from that of their parents.
In cases like this, we notice that the child finds it difficult to express themselves and speak out, whicb may result in depression, he says.
Sonia Pereira, who studies psychology, explains that there is a lot peer pressure in terms of social media and through social media youth are often attracted towards pornography and they have wrong mindset about relationships and other needs, adding that many find it hard to accept rejection, break-ups in their emotional life and in many other areas of peer pressure that leads to depression and even suicides.
Renil Faleiro disagrees with the concept of depression and feels it is important that people respect their lives, respect the people who raise them and look at suicide resulting from depression as something that is unaccepted.
“Depression is completely due to the cyber age we live in and instant gratification we seek. Youth nowadays do not seem equipped to accept failures. Also, often families are unwilling to accept and recognise depression in an individual, leave alone starting the right medication,” believes Ethan Rebello, pursuing his studies in psychiatry in Belgaum, but admits loneliness as one of the main causes.