In our fast-paced world, knee-jerk reactions have become common. We react based on our current emotions, and often, regret the reaction later. Often, it’s an angry reaction to what someone says. Sometimes, it’s a decision made hastily. Knee-jerk reactions are triggered by our gut feelings. If our gut feeling is that a certain action or activity represents a threat to us, our knee-jerk reaction might be to respond with anger. Knee-jerk reactions are based on the emotions we feel in response to current events. Most often, anger, anxiety or fear.
Knee-jerk reactions are easy!Electronic communication channels have made us fast and furious. Face-to-face meetings are reducing. Snail mail is dead. So, the amount of information available to us to choose a reaction which is informed and reasonable has decreased. The window of opportunity to think and reflect before reacting is now minuscule. Knee-jerk reactions can be very dangerous both in our professional or personal lives. One message written in a fit of rage or passion can ruin a career. Or take a toll on professional or personal relationships. So, it’s important to prevent knee-jerk reactions. This article gives you 5 tools to prevent knee-jerk reactions.Tools which can help you reduce the strain on your knees and lead a less reactive life.
Tool #1: Understand your triggers
When welose our cool or react in a way we regret later, we’re often confused as to what caused it. We can’t pinpoint the reason for the emotional outburst. Yet, there’s always a trigger. And it’s critical to understand what that trigger is. We need to ask ourselves what caused the emotion? Often, the immediate situation or person might not have been the trigger at all. Understanding our emotional triggers is the first step inchanging our reactions.Unsurprisingly, this is also the fundamental basis of meditation or mindfulness. When we understand our triggers, it decreases the dissonance between the way we think, feel and other survival parts of our brain. When there is greater connectivity betweenthese parts of the brain, we tend to be less reactive.
Tool #2: Don’t make quick people judgements
This one’s a subset of Tool #1. Yet, it’s so common, it merits a separate mention. In psychology, the Fundamental Attribution Error explains our tendency to judge others’ character by their behaviour, while we judge ourselves by intent. In other words, we believe people behave a certain way because of their personality or who they are. This contrasts to knowing that the way people behave also has a significant ‘situational’ aspect. That someone’s behaviour changes significantly based on the situation they are in. For instance, an employee who appears lazy might just be unable to find the right starting point for a difficult project. And might need some help from the boss instead of being branded as a ‘lazy’ person.That’s like making a decision with limited or no information. Something which leads to badoutcomes.
Once we make judgements, it’s a permanent trigger. It stays in our head, and manifests whenever we meet the person. Or look at work done by the person. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, try to judge people’s actions by intent and not solely by behaviour. Try not to stereotype employees as being a certain way. Always ask the question- ‘What is the reason behind this employee’s behaviour?’ And often find the behaviour is due to the situation, not the personality or the intent.
Tool #3: Understand what emotion is being triggered
Anger is often a very visible response to a stressful situation. A knee-jerk reaction involving anger is always dangerous. Anger is the ‘fight’ of the F3- Fight, Flight or Freeze automatic system we have to protect us from threat or danger. Yet, anger is often a manifestation of a deeper emotion. For example, we might not like a certain change in the way we do businessproposed by a third party. And react to it with anger and annoyance. Yet, that anger may be triggered by fear. Fear that the person might be right, and the apprehension and powerlessness that, if true, we might not be equipped to implement the change.
Tool #4: Don’t suppress emotions, or submit to them
We are humans, not robots. We feel a wide variety of emotions. These are natural. While there is merit in figuring out why we feel a certain emotion, we shouldn’t try to suppress emotions. This may sound like psychobabble, but it's been proven. Multiple studies have shown thatwhen we supress our emotions, there is a negative impact on health. Several studies say that repressed emotions increase our blood pressure. The emotions stay inside us, and suddenly rear their head at an unexpected time. Often, at an unsuspecting person. We then scratch our heads wondering why we got so angry, and it takes a toll on our relationship with the ‘victim’. Even if the unexpected explosion doesn’t happen, it's unhealthy for emotions to stay inside. It festers inside and can be a cause of stress or even physical ailments.Suppressing emotions is bad!
Tool #5: Make strategic choices on how toact (not react)
We really can’t do anything about our emotions. They are a part of us. Something we can’t get rid of. What we are in control of is how we react. As with anything, practice will make our reactions much more controlled. Bear in mind Tip #4 though. Don’t try to repress the emotion. Instead, feel it and understand it so that it can’t control your reaction. So, if you’re angry about something, express that anger. But in a strategic, intentional and respectful way. That way you are expressing your emotions and having a positive, fruitful interaction at the same time. The trick really is learning to act positively, rather than reacting.
In kayaking, often the best way to get out of a strong funnel current is to do nothing. You’ll get spit out soon enough. If you fight against the current, you will (at best) remain stuck. Do the same when you feel strong emotions overwhelming you. Observe and understand the emotion. And then act once you are in control of your emotions, don’t (knee-jerk) react.
Closing thoughts
Knee-jerk reactions expend energy. If your energy gets expended on knee-jerk reactions, you won’t have any left for the real stuff. Like thinking about the long-term future of your business. Or planning that next vacation of yours. That said, controlling knee-jerk reactions is easier said than done. Theoretically sound but difficult to implement. It’s a struggle. But trying is free. And if it reduces your knee-jerk reactions by even 10%, it’s well worth the effort.