John Malvino Alfonso
I have some experience traveling to different states. When we travel by train, bus, or plane, our family members drop us off and wish us a safe journey. They express their concern and love, hoping our journey goes smoothly. This is a kind and thoughtful gesture, and there is nothing wrong with it.
When we travel, both we and those around us want the journey to be safe and comfortable. However, very few of us extend this same concern to our life journey. While we may be careful about how we travel, we often neglect to reflect on the way we live our lives. In today’s modern world, many of us believe that no matter how we live or behave, it is acceptable.
A teacher once advised a young man: "Look, your girlfriend is very beautiful."
"Thank you, Ma'am," the young man replied cheerfully.
"Ma'am, I haven’t told my mom yet," he added.
"Why should you tell her? Everyone has girlfriends nowadays, right?" was the teacher’s response.
This conversation reflects an attitude that is common today. We often ask, "Doesn't everyone behave this way? What happens if we act like everyone else?" But who are we really comparing ourselves to? Five people? Ten people? Fifty people? Does it make it right just because others behave in a certain way?
If someone else neglects their life, it doesn’t mean we should follow the same path. It is wise to embrace what is good in others’ lives—values that are suitable for humanity. There is nothing wrong with that. However, there is no point in living a life that lacks meaning or purpose simply because others do. Momentary happiness may be achieved, but is that enough?
Sometimes in life, when things don’t go as we wish, we look forward to better days. However, these "better days" don’t always come easily. If we want them to arrive, we need to actively engage with our lives. To do this, we must take the time to reflect on what has gone well and what has gone wrong. This requires both courage and support from others—counselors or trusted friends. Only when we confront these aspects of our lives can we take steps to make our lives safer, so to speak.
We fear that if we truly reflect on our lives or undergo changes in our attitudes, perhaps through guidance or new mental training, we might not be able to act as we once did. But if we hold back because of this fear, we may risk not only the arrival of better days but also our mental well-being.
Life must adapt to what is appropriate for each stage. Just as we plan a safe and meaningful physical journey, we should approach life with the same intention. Simply insisting on being the ‘master of my life’ without reflection can be a disservice. Each step in life should be thoughtful and purposeful, shaped by our values. Instead of following the crowd, we need to reflect on what truly matters to us. The choices we make today will define the journey ahead, so let's ensure our lives are as fulfilling and intentional as the journeys we carefully plan.