CS Krishnamurthy
The timeless query that rolls off tongues as effortlessly as a marble on a polished floor -"How are you?"- has become the formal prelude to our daily exchanges.
I can’t help but wonder, is there more to this casual inquiry than meets the eye, or is it just a well-practised gesture? Is it a genuine concern for the well-being of our fellow humans or just a verbal tic we’ve collectively adopted? Concern or custom? Care or courtesy? Heartfelt or habitual?
Have you ever stopped to ponder the sincerity therein, and how genuine are the
responses?
Let’s not forget the art of the fake smile and the canned response. We’ve all been there – caught in the crossfire of social norms, where a stereotyped “I’m good” slips out like a reflex, even when the day feels like a rollercoaster ride.
The honesty behind "How are you?" changes based on who says it and when. Sometimes it's as genuine as a friendly smile, but other times it can be as insincere as a sales pitch.
At first glance, the question seems a candid interest into one’s well-being. Imagine this: A colleague passing you in the hallway, saying “How are you?” with a hurried pace and a distracted gaze. Now, is this a genuine expression of concern, or merely a polite overture? The serious undertone of the question can get lost in the daily cacophony of life. “I’m good, thanks,” rolls off the tongue, like a rehearsed line in a play. But how often do we pause to weigh behind these words? Is it a genuine reflection of our emotional barometer, or just a social script we enact for the sake of appearances?
In my quest to decode this mystery, I’ve encountered responses ranging from overly dramatic to the downright robotic. I once asked a friend how she was doing, expecting a standard “I’m fine, thanks.” Instead, she launched into a theatrical monologue about the intricacies of her morning routine, complete with a detailed account of her battle with the snooze button. I chuckled, but in that moment, I thought if we were starring in a sitcom titled “The chronicles of getting out of bed”.
In some cultures, “How are you?” is a perfunctory greeting, devoid of genuine interest in one’s well-being. When I was working in Abu Dhabi, some co-workers used to ask “How are you?” as many times as they meet
in the same day before resuming their
conversations.
But sometimes, the question demands more than just an autopilot “good” response. There are those who turn the moment into an Oscar-worthy performance. “Oh, you know, surviving the chaos of life…”, they say with a thespian flair, leaving you wondering if they’ve been secretly attending drama classes.
Some take “How are you?” as an invitation to offload the details of their life with TMI (too much information) confessions. “I’ve got this weird rash, and my cat gets very moody these days…” they spill, making you regret ever asking.
Then, there are those gems that drop truth bombs. “Honestly, I’ve had better days. My toaster broke, my maid bunked... It’s been a struggle,” they admit, providing a refreshing break from the well-rehearsed responses.
But don’t be too quick to dismiss the sincerity behind the question. Sometimes, it’s a genuine effort to reach out, a subtle acknowledgement, and can be a doorway to a heartfelt dialogue. In those moments, the question transcends the scripted responses and becomes an accelerator for authentic conversations.
In a business and professional setting, it’s a polite preamble to discussing work matters. The question often doubles as a greeting ritual, a verbal handshake. Eventually, the underlying beauty in this small gesture binds
us together. Going forward, whether in a board room or a busy street, mean it sincere! After all, do you have a better way to start a conversation?