Authenticity has indeed become a buzzword. Everyone wants to be authentic. About 1,58,00,00,000 results showed up when I typed ‘authentic’ in Google search engine. Almost everyone wants to ride out this gravy train, with each their own unabashed publicist.
The dictionary defines authentic as of undisputed origin and not a copy or genuine. An authentic person is defined as someone who is not afraid to be true to who they are, including their personality, values, and principles in life. They do not bother compromising the entirety of who they are just for the comfort of others. In short, it is being true to who one is.
Authenticity is thus supposed to carry a content that goes beyond just the requirement of self-possession. To be authentic is not only to live a life that is one’s own, but also to live a life that is worthwhile, and that satisfies a criterion of worth that is socially as well as personally oriented.
We all desire to present ourselves in a way that is both ideal and authentic. This fulfils our psychological needs to cultivate a positive self-view and to create positive impressions on others. Paradoxically, we want to be ourselves, as also to be socially desirable.
In an age of modern ever-present anxiety, one of the primary ways we deal with this is to be ourselves by constructing fantasy versions of ourselves through acquisition of things/ideas. This includes not just stuff, but personal style, worldviews, socio-political identities, etc. Thus begins an objectification of the self, gradually leading to a way of life. Ironically, instead of trying to come to terms with our radical freedom, ‘authenticity’ drives us toward a rebel conformity constantly searching for the exercise routine, clothing brand or political posture that is really ‘me’. Marketers smartly manipulate this to fill the apparently bottomless market for self-creation and self-care. As Wilde writes, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation’ (or misquotation).
This is false authenticity. Genuine authenticity, on the other hand requires resistance to self-absorption and fantasy and to acknowledge our dependency on others.
Osho argues that the authentic man must come out of his personality and embrace his individuality. The former is the false identity given by society to you, while the latter is what nature has given to you. Individuality is existential. Personality is social. The authentic man is a man of rebellious spirit. He rebels against his own personality, whatever the cost.
I have noticed that in the several personal growth labs that I have been a part of, that to be authentic is challenging as it requires sharing aspects of yourself you may not be comfortable sharing or confront difficult emotions or beliefs. It can also be challenging to maintain authenticity in social situations where there may be pressure to conform to certain expectations or behaviours.
As part of corporate workshops or in executive coaching, I have asked participants to share their ‘River of Life’. In sharing their personal stories, each participant takes responsibility for the lives they have led. They share the contexts they found themselves in, significant others who they met along the way, the varied roles, both in the primary and secondary systems and through these stories each grasps their being and who they are. Our contexts have their own personal histories, their own stories, which comes to influence the personal life stories that define who we are.
We have inherited much: our birth gave us entry to a pre-existing context (desh) of race, class, religion, ethnicity, geography, language, etc, while the age cohort joined us to our times (kaal) to the social climate of the times and its social character (Fromm) and its’ ‘imagined ideas’(Harari) and that has informed our essence (patra). Finally, for one’s life to be meaningful, a vision (telos) of who one wants to be and the kind of life one wants to live overall is critical. This grand vision then also feed back into who they see themselves as being at present. Thus, we need the totality and the unity of who one is. We also strive to have a truthful story to tell about oneself, rather than a merely concocted narrative that appears unified as a candidate for an authentic self. An individual seeking to be true to himself must be interested in having the narrative of himself reflect the truth of how he has lived his life.
What we refer to as our ‘true self’ really is just the aspects of ourselves that we feel best about us. Roy Baumeiste, reports that feeling highly authentic and satisfied when the way others think of us matches up with how we want to be seen, and when our actions ‘are conducive to establishing, maintaining, and enjoying our desired reputation.’
To be authentic one needs to be: Honest — speak the truth; Direct — speak in terms that are clear, concise, and focused; About here-and-now — speak about what is going on right now; From you — report your own experience of the here-and-now; Non-judgmental of others — speak about what you are experiencing around others, not of your judgments of others.
Shakespeare’s Hamlet, spoken by Polonius to Laertes, ‘to thine own self be true’. Carl Rogers noted, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
(Steve Correa is an Executive Coach, HR Consultant and author of ‘The Indian Boss at Work: Thinking Global Acting Indian’)