“No palm tree is perfectly shaped. Yet we marvel the beauty with which it stands. No sea shell is perfectly drawn, yet we marvel at the beauty with which it curves. Accept and appreciate yourself as you are today in your natural state like you would a tree in the forest, a flower in the garden, or a seashell by the shore. You are the entirety of you. You are whole and you are beautiful”– Omar Itan.
The sooner you accept all the good and bad things life throws at you, the lighter you will feel. We find our freedom through acceptance and out of acceptance; we find our path to growth. What freedom? The freedom to stop all forms of suffering. What growth? The opportunity to learn and expand from our own struggles. It’s about how you deal with the inevitable realities of failure, grief, worry and loneliness. It is your response. Will you fight it? Will you seek peace in what is right here, right now? Or will you deny it and thus continue your struggle with it? When we continue to resist, we continue to compound our suffering. Stop focusing on what you don’t have instead of what you have. No one is holding your feet to the fire demanding that you hold on to grudges and anger. The energy of anger slowly eats away at your body, mind and spirit until one day; you wake up more resentful than optimistic.
All things in life are in an imperfect state of flux, so strive not for perfection, but for excellence instead. Nature is always changing, then nothing can ever be absolutely complete. And since perfection is a state of completeness, then nothing can ever be perfect. Our flawed ways of thinking have now blurred our understanding of what perfection really is. We sculpt the perfect body, based on what society deems it must look like to pass that test of perfection. We seek the perfect career path and the perfect life partner based on someone else’s definition of that perfection. We procrastinate until eternity, before ever releasing that imperfect preference.
Imperfection is not a compromise; imperfection is the only way because imperfection is the true nature of things. Simply do the best to be the best that you can be. Everything is transient and nothing is ever complete. And that’s why perfection doesn’t exist. Things are neither good nor bad, they just are. In a world that is riddled with high stress levels, fast-paced living, unrealistic pursuits of perfection, and a damaging affliction with materialistic wealth, there’s an ancient Japanese way of life that can be just what we need right now. Uketamo (oo-keh-tamoh) encompasses the lessons learnt from nature through countless generations. Uketamo means “I humbly accept with an open heart.” It denotes a more connected way of living. A life style, where we are deeply connected to nature and thus, better connected to our truest inner selves. Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple transient stages of life. Through acceptance you find freedom; out of acceptance, you find growth. Life starts to flow when we begin to see the beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay - celebrating the cracks, crevices and all other marks that time, weather and love leave behind.
Excess stress hampers the quality of our life. When the sea is stormy, you can see nothing clearly. Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily. Search for the beauty in imperfection and accept the more natural cycle of life. It reminds us that all things including us and life itself, are impermanent, incomplete and imperfect. Perfection then is impossible and impermanence is the only way.
Human beings are among the few creatures that possess an ability to withhold a reaction. It is a skill worth developing. Take a bird’s eye view of every situation before choosing to react. A change in position can change everything. Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. Within us, there is stillness and a sanctuary to which we can retreat at any time and be yourself. Lets reach the state where we realise the whole universe, the whole world is nothing but one big life force, one eternal life, and one undivided life. In the words of Oprah Winfrey “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Each time you breathe, your body and mind embrace a new moment of life. Keeping your attention on the present moment can stop your worry about the future. Regrets about the past also disappear.
Peace is not just an absence of conflict; it is a positive phenomenon inside of us. When our mind is quiet, our intellect becomes sharper. Our emotions become positive and lighter. Our behaviour becomes much more palatable. These are the effects of finding inner peace. Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we live to please others. You look happy but you don’t feel happy, that’s what depression does to you. Tension is being who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. True relaxation comes from self-acceptance. You create unnecessary stress when you judge yourself by external standards.
Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is to simply relax. Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. The day you let go of the things that weigh you down, will be the day you begin to shine the brightest. It is not the load that breaks you down. It is the way we carry it. The happier and more stress free you are, the more people will want to be around you and the more your friends will respect you. An astounding thing happens when you release stress. Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You stop merely looking forward to special events. You just ride the wave that is life. You move fluidly. A veil is lifted and a whole new perspective is born.
(The writer is a social scientist and a senior practicing criminal lawyer)