Steven de Souza
In a world where new ideas and perspectives constantly shape our understanding, it is crucial to recognise the subtle forces that influence our minds. Every advancement and fresh interpretation of reality has the potential to shift our beliefs—sometimes without us even realising it. What we cling to becomes our personal truth, shaping our perception of the world around us.
However, resistance to change—even when faced with compelling evidence—is a form of self-imposed manipulation. We often hold onto familiar mind-sets as a psychological defence mechanism, providing a false sense of stability and control. In reality, this resistance hinders personal growth.
Manipulation refers to the act of influencing someone’s thoughts, emotions or actions, often to serve a particular agenda. It is generally viewed in a negative light, yet influence is an inevitable part of human interaction. From a young age, we are conditioned by societal norms, cultural expectations and familial beliefs that shape our world view. The media, education systems and even casual conversations contribute to the narratives we accept as truth. At times, however, these influences can limit independent thought.
Yet, manipulation is not always external; it can also stem from within. Our own minds are powerful tools of self-persuasion. We justify decisions that may not serve us well, cling to outdated beliefs and resist uncomfortable truths. This inner manipulation can be more dangerous than external influence because it convinces us that we are in control—even when we are not.
Change is uncomfortable. It forces us to step out of familiar patterns, reconsider long-held beliefs and acknowledge that we may have been wrong. This is why people often resist new ideas, even when they are logical, evidence-based, or beneficial. Instead of engaging in open dialogue, many double down on their existing beliefs, dismissing alternative perspectives as biased, false, or manipulative. This instinct to protect one’s world view creates an illusion of certainty, but in reality, it limits intellectual and emotional growth.
Stubbornness often leads to misunderstandings. People cling to their version of events, convinced they are right, while failing to see another person’s perspective. This unwillingness to shift viewpoints creates division rather than connection. True growth happens when we step outside of our own narrative and consider alternative interpretations of reality.
To truly grow, we must first acknowledge that our perceptions are not absolute truths but evolving understandings. The willingness to accept that we may not know everything and that our perspectives can always be refined does not mean abandoning core values. Rather, it involves developing the ability to engage in critical thinking.
In relationships, this means practicing empathetic listening rather than debating to “win” an argument. It involves recognising that others have their own experiences that shape their views and understanding that true connection comes from dialogue rather than defence. When we allow room for different perspectives, we foster deeper connections and mutual respect.