JOHN MALVINO ALFONSO
I was waiting for the bus to Mapusa after completing my personal retreat at the Cloistered Carmelite Monastery in Chicalim. A few passengers stood with me at the bus stop, and as we waited, cars and bikes sped by, overtaking each other without regard for the narrow road.
One passenger, observing the scene, remarked, “Everyone is running!” His words lingered in my mind as I boarded the bus on my way to Panjim. It made me wonder: Why do people run?
When do we feel the need to rush? Often, it’s because we want to get somewhere faster or avoid missing out on something. But this impulse isn’t always straightforward. Sometimes, we rush into mistakes, thinking we’re making the right choice, only to realise later it wasn’t. We also rush to avoid things we fear, but why do we feel the need to rush at all?
We all have responsibilities, yet many times we rush to avoid them. When life gets challenging, some of us withdraw. Why do we do that? In a fast-paced world where everything is expected to happen quickly, we are often free to make decisions without reflecting on them. We don’t even like making choices that set us apart from others. For instance, Princy was focused on her college studies while her father worked on a ship to support the family. Her parents found a potential match for her. They liked him, but Princy didn’t know him.
“The marriage will happen whether you like it or not,” her father insisted. Despite her initial resistance, Princy agreed to marry. But after marriage, she learned about her husband’s true nature. His hopes for other women lingered, and even after marriage, he continued relationships with others. Princy realised her decision had been made in haste, trusting others instead of herself.
Sometimes, we rush simply because others are running faster. Many young people fall into this trap—they attend college because their friends do, or choose a major because their friends do. One young man enrolled in an Arts programme because his friend Shweta did, but while she passed with good marks, he failed his first year. This is the consequence of following others without reflecting on what’s right for us.
When we make decisions too quickly, it becomes harder to change course later. What’s wrong with taking the time to think through what’s truly good for us? Rushing because others are running doesn’t lead anywhere meaningful. Thoughtful decision-making is essential, and we need to recognise what suits us and what doesn’t.
The attitude of “everything is exactly as we think” doesn’t serve us well. Life decisions require reflection on both the past and future. Seeking guidance is wise, but ultimately, we must make our own choices. Similarly, the belief that “everything must go the way I want it to” is unrealistic. Life doesn’t always unfold as planned. When things go wrong, we often seek quick answers, leading to frustration and rushed decisions without considering the consequences.
Patience is key. Instead of rushing into decisions, we must exercise thoughtful reflection. If we act too quickly, we might regret it later. If the choices we make today lead to tears tomorrow, we’ve missed the opportunity to pause and think. By taking our time to reflect, we can make decisions we won’t regret.