Those who don’t, attribute it to God’s
will. Those who believe in neither (Karma nor God) will say it’s
kismet. And those who don’t believe in destiny, will argue that we
create our own destiny. In that case, why
did we choose to create a painful destiny filled with bouts of
suffering, why not an obstacle-free course?
So that brings us back to where we
started from – why do we suffer?
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In one of my previous columns,
I had mentioned that we have problems to help us grow up; they help
us evolve and develop into more capable people. But what if I don’t
want to grow up? Do I have the option to keep my head buried in the
sand like an ostrich and believe that the storm has blown over? I do
have that option, but that won’t necessarily relieve me of my
suffering. Someday I will have to face my reality. So why do we
suffer? To become more humane and compassionate people.
I recently watched a TEDx talk * (a
showcase for speakers presenting great, well-formed ideas) by Jo
Chopra. She starts the talk by telling us about her friend who is
pregnant yet again. And to my surprise, Jo
said she wishes for her friend to bear a child with disability. She
goes on to explain why, and makes a convincing and compelling case
about how children with disabilities make the world a better place.
She narrates how differently abled children teach us compassion,
and that she has experienced this first hand because she has
adopted a child with down syndrome. Food for thought?
Later, I came across another story…a
fictional one…about a man who faced discrimination at his workplace
because he had AIDS. I wondered, is it only children who are
differently abled who can make us more compassionate or can
anyone suffering from a life threatening disease make us more
humane? And I realised,
it doesn’t need to be so drastic; our own
pain and suffering in our daily life can serve to make us more
compassionate.
We have heard the saying ‘Walk
in someone else’s shoes’, which later
evolved into ‘Walk a mile in someone
else’s shoes’ and
then ‘Walk in someone else’s shoes till you know where the
shoe bites’. All these sayings
essentially remind us to be empathetic towards someone else’s pain.
However, it is difficult to be empathetic towards someone else until
one has experienced that pain. A home-maker may not relate to
workplace politics; a healthy person may not understand the agony of
a sick person; a blissfully wedded couple may not understand the pain
of a divorcee. Till we don’t suffer, we cannot really understand the
pain of other people undergoing trying circumstances.
The onus lies on us, whether to wallow
in our own troubles or channelise them to
reach out to others in pain and lend a comforting shoulder,
thereby making this world a better place. Sometimes all one
needs is a listening ear and who better to lend it than the person
who has suffered similarly.
