International Widows’ Day was established to raise awareness of
the issue of widowhood and the problems faced by them. We often neglect people
suffering in our society. They may sit in a corner and cry for years, yet we
are busy with happy lives. Are we so ignorant towards these women who once
lived a colourful life? While not only financial wellbeing is disturbed but so
is their mental health.
In honour of
International Widows’ day on June 23, 2019, Friday Balcao, the fortnightly
discussion held an event on June 14. It focused on the challenges faced by
widows in Goa.
Rolan Martins
assuringly says,” It’s not uncommon to hear stories of widows facing issues of
finance, health, abuse and loneliness. Social pressures, traditions and in some
cases family diktats have made widows live miserable lives in Goa. Therefore we
dedicated the day in discussing issues faced by them.”
Topics discussed were the main challenges faced by widows in
Goa, How widows can live wholesome lives in Goa irrespective of age, caste,
religion or community, the existence of various kinds of support groups
initiated by widows in Goa, Government agencies concern, and the role of
Village Panchayats and Municipal Councils playing to support the widows in
their jurisdiction.
There were 12 participants which included two widows in the
discussion. The discussion began with every participant expressed their
thoughts on what they found the treatment of widows in the society to be. They
shared from their experiences and people‘s stories whom they knew of.
Suggestions were also put forth by few. According to Lorna Fernandes, Convenor
Goa Womens Forum, the Support groups need to be formed in each Village
Panchayat and Municipal Council, perhaps even in each ward. “This will bring
the widows together and discuss issues which affect them through society in the
garb of traditions can be brought out,” she said.
The women also brought
out the other common aspects of being a widow. The compulsion of wearing black
/ white and not wearing jewellery should be removed from the society as it only
separates them further. It should all begin from these little things; it will
make them feel one of the happy colourful women. Similarly, during the
discussion, Saloni Yaspal’s poetry was read out, that described the sufferings
of a widow. The poetry was reflected upon, discussed and shared. Through her
words the group discussed the psychological effects of a husband’s death and
society trying to deny these women. The poem said, “Community’s self-appointed
judges believe in traditions that aggravate depression beyond cycle of
grieving, Be it the lifelong ‘white’ Hindu diktat or the Catholic norm of three
years of widows wearing black clothing.”
It’s time we accept these women in our
society, and help them if necessary. Let’s not shame them.
