Anantha Padmanabhan
Retirement, traditionally envisioned as a period of leisure, took on a significantly different character with the arrival of my grandson, Bratman (a nickname derived from his occasionally boisterous demeanour).
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Managing Bratman and Coco, my docile three-year-old pet dog, became an exercise in applied art, revealing the multifaceted challenges of parenting in the digital age—a stark contrast to my own daughters’ upbringing. The constant need to balance digital stimulation with traditional play presented a unique challenge.
Following my daughter’s return to work after maternity leave, I volunteered to care for Bratman at my residence rather than employ a full-time maid. This arrangement, involving daily commutes for my daughter, established me as Bratman’s primary caregiver. For the past ten months, six days a week, his daily needs—morning milk feeding, two evenly spaced meals, a fruit snack, and nappy changes as required—have been my priority. The society’s kids’ play area became a regular destination, and my mobile phone, a record of Bratman’s daily activities, facilitated immediate sharing with the family via WhatsApp.
Beyond the structured routine, the daily interactions between Bratman and Coco formed a significant part of the dynamic. Bratman’s curiosity about Coco’s ears and tail resulted in frequent, playful encounters, while his rapid mobility added complexity to managing them both. There were days when Bratman and Coco’s wake-up times coincided, necessitating simultaneous feedings—a logistical challenge.
Adding to the routine’s inherent unpredictability, certain events, such as the doorbell ringing, would disrupt the normal rhythm, triggering immediate movement from both Bratman and Coco. Managing their respective responses while attending to the door became routine. My neighbours, observing the daily activity levels, expressed surprise at the relative lack of audible distress. Despite the evident activity, a degree of control was maintained. Further complicating matters, the housemaid’s unpredictable appearances contributed to increased interaction between herself, Bratman, and Coco.
To maintain a semblance of order in the house, unwritten rules—including restrictions on phone calls during Bratman’s waking hours (with my phone generally on silent/voicemail mode) and a twenty-minute daily limit on television screen time—were implemented. I also found myself frequently keeping Bratman’s favourite rhymes playing in the background as he napped, while quickly consuming my coffee or food.
The return of my wife and daughter from work marked a shift in Bratman’s focus. He would typically direct his attention towards them, temporarily disregarding my presence. Both monthly visits from my son-in-law and festival visits to his paternal grandparents also resulted in increased activity levels for Bratman.
The experience of caring for Bratman and Coco has redefined my expectations of retirement. The only area where I failed was my attempt to successfully bathe Bratman, which resulted in a display of vocal opposition that deterred any further ventures into that aspect of childcare. This experience, including the occasional setbacks, has led me to contemplate updating my LinkedIn profile with “Open to work as a nanny,” as I have developed a new appreciation for the rewards and challenges of “digital childcare”!
