One of the worst social evils facing us in this era of rapidly advancing IT (information technology) is the addiction to pornography, which is ruining the moral fabric of the human society. This real and serious problem demands of us a real and serious response. It is easier to turn away and pretend it does not exist, but it does exist, and we must do what we can urgently. We should not wait for the abduction, rape or murder of a young girl or boy in our family, another child’s life being devastated to get us concerned about this pressing issue. The stakes are just too high.
Acknowledging a problem for ourselves and pointing it out – naming it, is an important first step in solving the problem. We find this in the Twelve Step Spirituality of such groups as Alcoholic Anonymous. The first step in this transforming spirituality is to admit that in the face of one’s addiction one is powerless. People do not address problems that they refuse to admit.
Young people are the worst victims of this malaise gripping the world today. Adolescence and teenage are the times youngsters experience a surge of emotions. If these emotions are directed towards lustful desires and sensual thoughts, it can totally destroy that person who finally will find it difficult to get out of it. To exploit this weakness of youngsters, there are some anti-social and greedy elements in the society who, in order to make money, are hell-bent on destroying these youth. The porn movies – available on TV Channels, Internet and Video discs, besides obscene books and magazines are all their contribution. The youngsters, who lack discernment and fall prey to this, are like those flies that are attracted to the flame of fire.
The saddest part is that when one is trapped to it, instead of trying to get out of it, he/she tries to drag some more people into the same trap. Our society, it seems has not yet taken seriously the reality that porn movies, books and pictures arouse sexual desires that are dormant and delicate in youth and set them aflame such that it takes a toll on their intellect and tender mind leaving them living dead. It then becomes impossible for them to concentrate on serious matters like academic educational studies and future career ambition. The obsession with pornographic books and pictures devastates their life; particularly their ambition and goal, throwing their life off the track. They are swept away of their youthful curiosity, love for the opposite sex – or in some cases, love for the same sex – and encouragement from friends, which jeopardises their studies and future.
Youngsters are let astray due to inadequate knowledge and the consequent curiosity regarding sexual matters. Since appropriate means to get correct knowledge and information are rare, they turn to such books, magazines and movies to satisfy their curiosity. They may begin to awaken their desire for explicit pornography even by the use of (increasing revealing and suggestive) television shows, reality TV, or immodest advertisements and magazines not generally regarded as erotic (e.g. in the case of fetish), novels with explicit scenes that they know play to their attractions. The youngsters, therefore, need to be made aware of their folly and guided on the right path through proper knowledge regarding sexual matters. Unfortunately, a good number of adults from all walks of life cutting across gender lines and sexual orientations are themselves hooked to pornographic media.
A major character weakness in heterosexual pornography use can be selfishness or narcissism. Some pornography can be strongly influenced by a weak sexual confidence, loneliness and a poor body image. The problems with which we struggle often keep us bound up in silence. Particularly with something like pornography, the fear, embarrassment and shame can be intense. We are also more vulnerable to secret indulgences: (1) when we are alone or with certain people, (2) when we have time on our hands, and (3) when the materials are available. Realising these contributing factors can help a person begin to look for ways to redirect his or her sexual emotions in a more dignified and healthy manner.
First of all, we must avoid a secretive or enticing environment. Be careful in planning out what we do when in private and must be on our guard, mindful of our weakness. Being honest about our individual weaknesses in these areas will help us avoid the occasions that may cause our downfall. To succeed in this battle, we have to calculate our strengths and weaknesses and realize how we can account for both. At the same time, we must avoid situations where the company of certain people might unduly pressure us to partake in the use of materials, such as pornographic videos or magazines.
Idle time may be the occasion for our use of pornography. We learned the truism, “The idle mind is the devil’s playground.” We don’t want to become frenetic in our activity. There is value in taking time for rest and relaxation, but we must be good stewards of our time. We should use our time to constructively do things that are part of the direction we want for our life, that express and strengthen our commitments to others.
We won’t be able to control our emotions and free ourselves from sexual fantasies as long as we indulge in reading and watching porn. Therefore, we must remove any pornography that is readily available. Destroy the videos, the photos and magazines, cancel the problematic cable or satellite channels. Indeed, all pornographic materials need to be destroyed and disowned.
In order to preserve we must develop a plan to stay sober and avoid the intoxication of pornography. We have to put aside the temptation to use pornography and avoid anything that leads us towards it. With just this much, in some days, we will be able to gain control over our sexual emotions. Remember, sexuality is a great gift of nature, it must be directed with wisdom and self control in the right way.
(The writer is a freelance journalist)
