A day has 24 hours and out of this, we sleep for 8 hours at night, for some it may be even less. That means that we remain awake for 16 hours; some use it profitably for a purpose, others waste these valuable hours in ‘khobro’ (gossips). ‘Sarkar’ offices have special weakness for it; married men and women take pleasure in it; it is something we all indulge in it.
Gossip starts to grow from ‘jealousy, shame, self-interest and many more such things. It is, mostly, an update of family affairs; about person’s appearances like – short, tall, fat, slim or judgement on beauty which actually depends on age that fades away as years pass by and age advance and crumples the skin. Some design and fashion it, some bigmouths tell it, some strain their ears to hear it, some collect and spread it.
Those who cook, “nakli” news, in order to make their listeners believe them, they prefix false news with these words: “According to reliable person”. Even if this does not convince the listener they take the support of any Tom to repeat the same information to the hearer as they believe that repeated false becomes true with the backing of such imposters or frauds.
The tongue is used to speak both good and bad, to praise or malign in juiciest gossips which ruin and tear down relationships, destroy lives and friendships.
Gossip need not be false to be evil, even if it is truth and passed around from one person to another it is evil, as it causes much pain and mental suffering to the affected person. If God wants, evil gossip can return and hurt the one who started it. Therefore, one should tame the tongue and stop “palle kobro”.
Any conversation at home or neighbourhood, at workplace can be measured by this triple filter test of the Greek philosopher Socrates. His friend, who was eager to share some juicy gossip, asked if Socrates would like to know the story he’d just heard about a friend of theirs. Socrates said, “Only if it passes the Triple – Filter test.” First, “Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to say is true?” The man said, “No.” Secondly, “Do you find any goodness in what you have heard?”Again, the man said, “No!” Lastly, “Is it useful or necessarily information for me?” The man said, “No.” Then Socrates said, “If what you want to say is neither true, nor good, nor useful or necessary, please don’t say anything at all and do not act on it.”
Gossip talks are unavoidable, as close contact between individuals is a necessary part of our lives. Good gossip elicits ripples of laughter and erases depression. Gossip is one of the primary pleasures of life which we should not give up. But we should only use it with restrain by keeping it clean without hurting the feelings or sentiments or cause damage to reputation of others. But when people start probing into the personal lives of others, things can take a turn for the worse.
The only way to fight the habit of gossip is to fight with our mind and win.
Once we learn to control our mind we can control everything. Yes, it is difficult but the victory over our mind is divine.
