Elsa Angel Rose
Parenting styles are numerous, but cracking the code of what suits you and your child must be the most important part. Predominantly, three types of parenting styles are being discussed: authoritarian, passive, and authoritative. Gentle parenting can be considered a version of authoritative parenting, which is the most recommended form of raising children. Gentle parenting focuses on raising emotionally intelligent children through empathy, respect, understanding, and firm boundaries. It emphasises building a secure parent-child connection to guide behaviour rather than using punishments, bribes, or yelling.
If you enjoyed reading this article, you can help support our journalism by adding OHeraldo as a preferred source.
GENTLE PARENTING WITH SET BOUNDARIES A parent must have a robust bond with the child; only then will the child have trust in the parent. Definitely, gentle parenting focuses on core values such as empathy, respect, and more. But having clear boundaries set is significant. “I practise gentleness most times as it comes naturally to me. I have immense patience and generally have a calm state of mind, which allows me to conduct myself with a certain peaceful aura. But there are times when my patience has run dry, and I feel my parenting with kindness has been taken for granted,” shared Tallulah D’silva, a parent. It is not a novel concept, but over time, it has been observed that the boundaries that are required in a gentle parenting method dissolve. She added, “There should be boundaries set which apply to all so that nobody crosses the lines to disrespect, be abusive, get violent or aggressive. When parents practice these, children also find it easy to imbibe.”
HEALTHY PARENTING FOR A BETTER GENERATION Even when we discuss gentle parenting, let’s not overlook the power of saying no. Devika Mangaldas, a counselling psychologist, explained, “There should be a limit; emotional validation should be as and when required, it can impact behaviour patterns. Children do need validation at all times, but during specific tantrums, it should be avoided.” Parents can be specific when reinforcing behaviour, but must always be consistent to reinforce only positive behaviour. How does a healthy disciplining look like according to a psychologist? Devika replied, “It requires patience, good observation, non-reactiveness, and giving meaningful consequences for negative behaviour, and reinforcing verbally for positive actions regularly.” The repercussions of not saying no when required are mammoth. Devika said, “A child gets programmed to expect a yes for all their needs; they may get aggressive and not know how to deal with a no answer. This hampers their resilience.”
EVER HEARD OF FAFO PARENTING? Certainly, different types of parenting have come and gone. Gentle parenting has been ruling the charts for a prolonged period. But FAFO parenting is something new, and it screams now. Fool around and find out is something that parents are opting for in raising their children. One does not have to feel that it is a strange idea. This technique is quite similar to what parents resorted to in the 90’s. But somewhere along the way, gentle parenting started overrunning, and perhaps this technique was forgotten along the way. Making a child anxious and overly sensitive will not help them to survive in the world easily. They need to have resilience and courage in them. These morals have to be developed from an early age, and the FAFO technique seems to work out best for the same. The technique focuses on developing the qualities mentioned above, as well as building independent thinking ability in the child from a young age. For instance, imagine that a child insists on staying outside at night; then you let them stay outside (but still within the house premises) and lock the door. Or if a child insists on not having dinner, then you let them be and remain starved until breakfast is served. So rather than you explaining whether what they did is right or wrong, you let the consequence teach them. Not so surprisingly, the technique has been proven to be an effective one. While parenting styles may evolve with time and trends, the core goal remains the same: raising well-adjusted, resilient, and emotionally secure children. Striking the right balance between compassion and firmness allows children to learn from their choices and develop the resilience they need to navigate the real world with confidence. Newer parenting styles – the rise of gentle parenting, children are encouraged to express opinions openly, less fear-based parenting, loopholes in gentle parenting, parenting hacks.
SAY NO TO FEAR-BASED PARENTING
Cecille Rodrigues, a parent and a political activist, shared, “Punishment can sometimes escalate issues, making kids more likely to hide mistakes or develop resentment. Instead, focusing on understanding the mistake, setting clear expectations, and teaching problem-solving skills can be more effective.” Cecille personally does not advocate fear-based parenting. She said, “I have a friendly relationship with my son. Fear-based parenting can have long-term consequences like anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulty with decision-making.” All of this culminates in an overly cautious or rebellious adult. Cecille added, “It’s generally more effective to focus on positive reinforcement and teaching coping skills.” Okay then, if not the fear aspect, how can a parent ensure obedience, make sure they are disciplined? Tallulah shared her thoughts on the same. “I use the tool of stepping away or silence. It gives the signal that something is not going right, and it is time to reflect.” But, again, this might not work for all parent child dynamics. Some children might feel isolated and lonely if the silent treatment is not stopped when required. Another technique, which Tallulah was keen on sharing was, “I have in the past asked my children to reflect by writing, and this has really worked wonders because in writing we can reassess, analyze and put down our thoughts seamlessly. It comes from the heart, and in writing our thoughts, any disrespect we may feel takes a different form, empathy creeps in, and we become peaceful.”
EVER HEARD OF FAFO PARENTING? Certainly, different types of parenting have come and gone. Gentle parenting has been ruling the charts for a prolonged period. But FAFO parenting is something new, and it screams now. Fool around and find out is something that parents are opting for in raising their children. One does not have to feel that it is a strange idea. This technique is quite similar to what parents resorted to in the 90’s. But somewhere along the way, gentle parenting started overrunning, and perhaps this technique was forgotten along the way. Making a child anxious and overly sensitive will not help them to survive in the world easily. They need to have resilience and courage in them. These morals have to be developed from an early age, and the FAFO technique seems to work out best for the same. The technique focuses on developing the qualities mentioned above, as well as building independent thinking ability in the child from a young age. For instance, imagine that a child insists on staying outside at night; then you let them stay outside (but still within the house premises) and lock the door. Or if a child insists on not having dinner, then you let them be and remain starved until breakfast is served. So rather than you explaining whether what they did is right or wrong, you let the consequence teach them. Not so surprisingly, the technique has been proven to be an effective one. While parenting styles may evolve with time and trends, the core goal remains the same: raising well-adjusted, resilient, and emotionally secure children. Striking the right balance between compassion and firmness allows children to learn from their choices and develop the resilience they need to navigate the real world with confidence. Newer parenting styles – the rise of gentle parenting, children are encouraged to express opinions openly, less fear-based parenting, loopholes in gentle parenting, parenting hacks.
