Aren’t we struggling with change in some areas of our lives? We all do. The good news is that there are ways to go from resistance to acceptance very quickly, and in doing so prevent needless suffering. It’s our ability to cope with change that makes up a good part of how resilient we are.
Change: The universe without change would not exist, because change is necessary for the formation of anything and everything. Almost 2000 years ago, the Roman Emperor and philosopher, Marcus Aurelius wrote: “Every part of me then will be reduced by change into some part of the universe, and that again will change into another part of the universe, and so on forever.”
If you enjoyed reading this article, you can help support our journalism by adding OHeraldo as a preferred source.
Aurelius also wrote: Is any man afraid of change? What can take place without change? ……And can you take a hot bath unless the wood for the fire undergoes a change? Can you be nourished unless the food undergoes a change?
Illusion of control: We often imagine we have far more control than we really do, we imagine this because it makes us feel comfortable, but the deeper the illusion of control, the more we suffer when we are shown it is a lie, and control is taken from us. In reality we only control two things, our thoughts and our actions. That’s it. Everything else can be lost, taken, changed against our will, or resistance.
Another ancient philosopher, Epictetus, once said: “Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions”.
Change and suffering: We often suffer in anticipation of change. The fear of something happening to us or around us that will cause a shift in our life, our norm or our routine. This is often in the form of loss. Loss of a job or loss of a loved one for example. Anticipation of change can lead to over thinking, doubting our ability to cope or deal with the challenges that come with change.
Our Expectations: The universe does not rearrange itself solely based on our thoughts and feelings, and we should not expect it to. Things will happen as they do, not as we expect. A considerable amount of suffering can come from expecting the world to be certain way and not having those expectations met. It is therefore important to study and examine what you expect from the world, and whether you think your expectations are reasonable or unreasonable.
Acceptance: In accepting the things in life that we cannot control, we prevent ourselves from the suffering that comes with focusing our time and energy on things that we cannot change or influence. This allows us to better use our time on what we can influence and help us deal with change and the challenges that come with it. Similarly, accepting that our unrealistic expectations can cause us suffering can lead us to think seriously about what we expect from other people and the world around us, and in doing so we create more realistic expectations.
