We make friends with some and not with others because of some vague, indescribable something that brings and holds us together. But friends are of 2 types — true friends and false ones.
The heart of a ‘true friend’ is love without condition; talk without intention; giving generously without reason and helping in times of difficulties without expecting anything in return.
False friends are fine weather friends showing negative decency, as shown by this unforgettable Aesop’s story of two friends who met a bear on their way. One of them climbed up on a tree and the other fell flat on the ground, and feigned the appearance of death. The bear came up smelt him all over and left him as dead body. When the bear had gone the other climbed down and asked his friend, ‘what it was the bear had whispered in his ear?’ He replied, “He gave me this advice: Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.”
Friends turn beasts when their pleasantness slips and they burn with anger within; they turn into men when peace reigns in their heart; and when they imitate Jesus on the Cross and forgive their foe they turn godly. If there is goodness in a village love grows among neighbours and living becomes a joy.
Good neighbours are like the parable in the Bible about the Good Samaritan; and also the behaviour of Bonaventure D’Souza, at Anmod Ghad where he saved two kids from the miserable situation they were in. Good neighbours are like the two kings who went hunting, riding in their own chariots, one king’s chariot got burnt down, while the other king’s horse died. Both kings were stranded. But they worked it out with cooperation. One gave his chariot and the other his horse, and the two were able to return to town.
Bad neighbours speak good things on the face but behind you they plan evil and throw a big stone and stamp you under their feet in thoughts, words and deeds.
The sun coaxes and opens the petals of the daisy on a spring morning; similarly, to open the goodness in the village and to inherit eternal life, all men should ‘love their neighbours, as themselves’. Human beings are born, live and die in relationship. Not all relationships turn out to be good as life has its ups and downs.
Good relations are not broken into fragments by narrow domestic walls of groups and dividing some with tags as ‘distant relatives’.
Some relationship, have selfish motives, and have feelings of jealousy, hate and suspicion, therefore, their relationship gets strained as years pass by. It is said about them, in Konkani: “Jevonn-khann zalem, ollokh-pallokh na.” (Once the eating and drinking are over, there is no further dealing). Behind your back jealous relatives talk ill about you; they hurl epithets like criminal and many wounding words with sinister intentions.
The spirit of cooperation brings friends, relatives and neighbours together. Ideal neighbourliness is based on goodness. A cool introspection and reflection make it clear that most anger in relationship are trivial, and silly not worthy of being pursued. But it can be a hell or heaven according to the way of their thinking.
