It’s months since beef disappeared in Goa and Señhor João (SJ), – an 80 year old freedom fighter batkar – is peeved as he sits on his rocking-chair in the balcão. There’s not a whiff of the culinary delight emanating from his large kitchen and his mest (an old ex-cruise liner botler) is not too pleased either. After all, which Goan – Christian or Muslim – is not cantankerous when s/he has not eaten beef for months? Without gosh or maas, life loses its zing for them; in fact, the disappearance of beef from markets has brought the two communities together in solidarity though doctors, the world over, warn us that ‘red meat’ is bad for the arteries and heart. ‘I want beef!’ or ‘Where’s the beef?’ say beef-eaters who form 60% of Goykars in sunny Goa. And Señhor João was one such beef afficionado though his teeth are no more and his dentures don’t really chew anything well; leave alone fibrous meats. Notwithstanding that, SJ yearns for beef rolado and its finger-licking gravy.
Besides, next month his Canadian engineer grandson, Damião, is expected to be down in Goa to marry his beautiful bride Juliana. But according to SJ a wedding is a total flop if there are no beef dishes on the large buffet table. What is a wedding without beef steak, beef assado or beef bafada and avozinha’s salted tongue, he ruminates agonizingly on his rocking-chair. It was in such a mood that his Liberation-era amigo, Atmarambab (AB) walked up the balcão steps for their evening tete-a-tete. AB concerned: ‘Wassup Señhor? Why so despondent?’ SJ irritatedly replies: You’d be despondent if you’d be deprived of hardy nourishment at lunch and dinner for months now! AB comprehendingly: Oh, you mean the lack of beef in your meals, huh? Why don’t you eat more chicken instead – its ‘white’ meat though packed with steroids these days. SJ peevishly: Arre Atmaram, beef and chicken don’t taste the same – you feel like a man after eating beef; why, you can conquer the world with a beef steak under your belt.
AB cajolingly: Borem re Señhor, the government is engrossed right now with the sudden disappearance of a minister, as you very well know. Have a little more patience and all will be well. SJ gets irritable again and retorts: I don’t want meat that clandestinely pilfered into Goa across the boarders while the Goa Meat Complex makes promises with U-turns at every corner. This Easter was depressing with delicious beef dishes missing for our grand lunch! The unflappable AB kept comforting his friend: Relax, relax – things will change soon once the govt removes the illegalities in the beef trade and your handsome Damião’s wedding will be remembered for a long time to come.
