How should you behave with your spouse? Your in-laws and your yet to be created children. While there are no easy answers, couple’s who are getting hitched need to check in with the unlikeliest of counsellors the government, who will certify that you are marriage worthy
Law Minister Nilesh Cabral has said that the Dept of Registrations will decide if you can do so before you say I do.
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So why this concern. The government feels that the rate in the number of divorces has increased over the years and now it can be said there is a crisis with couples separating a month into the marriage or just a year.
The state Government has now decided to step in and start premarital counseling sessions for couples registering for marriage. The Department of Registration will conduct these sessions in the 15 days between registration and solemnisation of marriages. Well you read that right.
Well the good people of the state had much to say about this decision. Father Bolmax Pereira a popular Chicalim based priest said it was great to know that the state had suddenly woken up to an increasing number of divorce cases. He however felt it was surprising the law minister had come out with a quick solution of mandatory pre-marriage counseling during the busiest period of marriage preparation. Father Bolmax said “Minister needs to “Study” the matter properly before coming out with mandatory policies if they are really serious about the issue”. Fair enough. Others however were more cutting in their remarks.
A woman on the verge of a divorce said “Pre-marriage counseling at a state facility to save our marriage? You must be kidding. Let the state first have counseling sessions for the MLAs who can’t remain loyal to their original political party and keep changing parties. Then they will understand how much that counseling will really help”. That must hurt a bit.
A social activist who did not want to be named enquired if the government was serious or was it an attempt by the law minister to divert the attention from his failures as Environment minister and Power minister? The activist said “Still, if at all they are serious this mandatory counseling should be a really serious thing for willing couples and not mandatory just for the sake of a certificate which cannot guarantee no divorces really”.
Adv Poonam Naik Ajgaonkar felt it was a good move and should be implemented. She said “The number of divorces have been increasing dramatically. 60 percent of marriages end in divorce either in the first or second year. However I don’t think pre marriage counseling is required. What is urgently required is pre-divorce counseling.”
Another advocate who wished to stay anonymous raised some very interesting points. The advocate said “The idea looks very appealing but whether the motive behind this is novel has to be examined. It may well be a technique to keep a check on inter-religious and/or inter caste marriages following a well known agenda reflected in many legislation made in saffron ruled states. Furthermore, it should also be important to specify ‘counselling’ and its scope and the manner it will be imparted and even otherwise the most important question is whether such exercise is in infringement of right to privacy as it is said to be mandatory for second signature. You can’t force couples for Counseling without their consent. Just as there is right to marriage, there is a right to seek divorce too in law under the grounds envisaged therein. Also there is no study which the Government has furnished to rely on the efficacy of such practice. Also our Courts when dealing with divorce do rely on tools like counseling before proceedings to adjudicate matters”.
Father Kenneth Teles of the Family Service Centre when contacted said “We have done enough to save marriages, to strengthen that institution. What the government wants to do is their problem. I have nothing to say.”
Cecil De Melo and Adline D’Silva e Melo had much to say about this move by the government. Cecil said “ Marriage is a commitment that both partners should get into after considerable thought, and should be based on absolute trust, love and understanding of each other. However, once a couple start living together, many discoveries about each other are made, and some of them are not necessarily pleasant. While it seems like a good idea to have a pre-marriage counseling session for those about to enter a long-term association like marriage, what would be even more effective would be a convenient system where a couple facing issues after getting married could use. Hurdles, when they occur in the years that follow, need to be overcome by having professionals assess each situation separately. Offering researched solutions to make relationships last without ending in separation or divorce should be the objectives of such sessions. More often than not, when divorce occurs, the children are the ones most affected, which can be averted if timely intervention in the form of counseling is sought”.
A couple from Nagoa who did not want to be named said “Sounds like we will now need a license to get married. And whoever thinks we need the government to strengthen bonds of marriage??? People might learn to jump spouses like they jump political parties. We have our religious institutions that provide Pre marital instruction and we definitely don’t need it from you. A lot of your counseling will also be against our religious views especially regarding contraception and family planning. Greasing of palms will get you that certificate without any effort while others will likely get old waiting for their file to move”
Several others who were contacted felt the government ought to be focused on handling the virus which was busy sending people to the hospital or the morgue.
Well it is the nature of governments to try and enter areas that should be out of bounds to them. Let us wait and see how this works out in Goa.
