With the times evolving as quickly
as they are, with women’s rights coming into the fore front, along with an
acceptance of the fact that women are in fact, not the ‘weaker’ sex, marriage
has become a choice for today’s modern woman. It is no longer part of the
inevitable plan which charts a woman’s life from infancy, to adolescence and
inevitable marital bliss. In India, and in Goa too, women are standing up for
their rights and saying no to marriage, or are, at the very least, delaying it
till they are ready to take the plunge.
Vajra Aigal is all of 27 years and
is the Assistant Manager of a popular radio station in Goa. Originally from
Margao, Vajra moved closer to her workplace, to Miramar a few months ago and
since then, life for her has never been more comfortable. However, like most
girls, she has had her share of experiencing a subtle push from her parents,
asking her to get hitched. Vajra, on the other hand, is in no hurry and is
willing to wait for the right guy with whom she can spend her life. She says,
“I like the kind of life I’m living right now. I have lived with my parents for
almost 21 years and followed the rules and regulations that they had set for
me. I moved out so that I can explore and get the real taste of the world. My
parents feel that I should get married this very moment. According to them, if
age catches up with me, I won’t find anyone to get married to. But I feel that
marriage can wait. There is no point in rushing into something as important as
marriage. If I find a sensible guy and we happen to be on the same page, I have
absolutely no problems in getting married…but I think that’s a little
difficult.”
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Akin to Vajra, many other working
women choose to concentrate on work and seem to have little interest in
marriage. Sowmya Jagannath, a PR professional who frequents Goa on business,
says, “I don’t believe in marriages as I believe that it is the society that
has made marriage mandatory. I don’t agree with the concept of leading my life
by societal rules. Why am I single? Because I am currently focusing on setting
up my business and hence, have no time to look out for romance. I’d rather
utilise my energies in the business”
While most girls agree that
marriage is a personal choice and the society has got nothing to do with it,
they also agree to the fact that more than our parents, it is the people that
surround us who seem to be most interested in it. Pearl Mascarenhas (name
changed on request) from Margao, another young girl who is facing social
pressure, says, “Why is getting married a compulsion in India? When you go past
25, everyone is interested to search for your would be bridegroom or bride. I
don’t see this kind of obsession in other (especially European) countries. Why
is this? A boy or girl may not even want to get married. Why do we make this
big a deal in getting a hubby or wife? And most interestingly, if you say you
don’t want to get married, they will either think you are a crazy old lunatic,
or you have a serious problem or you are joking. Come on guys, it’s my life…I
will decide when and whether I marry or not.”
