Courageous Parenting

It gave me a surreal feeling of being one with the earth. This whole exercise has taught me the simple joys from labour, collaboration, working with patience, awakening sensibilities when working with one's hands

Meet 23 years old Andrew. He has Goan roots but was raised and completed his education in Canada. An engineer by training his interests are in environment education and climate change.

He got an opportunity to lead an initiative called The Flora Project, on his family owned property by the Mandovi River. The land was used as grazing ground by cattle, as a play space by the children from the nearby community but often littered by visitors, tourists with beer bottles, pet bottles, plastic, debris and waste. The waterfront was also stinking because of open defecation. Many people living in one room homes without toilets were possibly finding their way to this lonely, unmonitored stretch to relieve themselves. The objective of The Flora Project was to activate the space for community driven activities centred around environment awareness, climate change and strengthening the understanding of local biodiversity. All attempts over the years by the family with collaborators had failed resulting in vandalism of boundary fencing, etc.

But this time, with Andrew on board, there was a new young energy driving the initiative. He led with such confidence, organising talks at various schools, talking about climate change, environment protection and leadership. He also invited students to join The Flora project to participate in a workshop to build a pavilion like structure using bamboo and mud.

Each day during the workshop, Andrew talked to the students and conducted an activity about leadership and building. He learnt about mud building. With basic instructions, sketches and on ground sampling he worked with the team of artisans on ground, completely immersed and enjoying every moment of the building exercise.

The entire building exercise involved digging, collecting waste stone, pebbles, etc. sourcing materials and tools from the local market, mixing mud with cow dung and water, making many rounds to bring the buckets of water to where we were working. Sourcing cow dung from local cow herds entailed going to the cowshed in Taleigao and transferring it into a portable bucket and travelling with the cow poop to site. Soon we were all so accustomed to the organic smell of cow dung that we began to associate the mud cow dung smell to that of cake batter! Andrew took to all work on the site like a fish to water working diligently, patiently and peacefully! It seemed like the mud and working by had had worked its magic on him.

We had to source waste tyres to use them to anchor the bamboo into the ground. We had to bring local coir rope, etc from the hardware shop. Instructions had to be given and all steps of building the foundation using found material, tyres, mud and bamboo reinforcement/ pegs had to be explained to the artisans in Hindi and Konkani. Andrew didn’t know either but that did not stop him in any way to get the work progressing, an ‘achha’ here and a ‘borem’ there.

When the bamboo work began, Andrew began to work his way at tying the bamboo as well as cutting into various sizes as required. He patiently taught some of the school groups the nuances of basic building with mud and bamboo. 

At the end, after we had completed the pringle shaped bamboo pavilion this is what Andrew had to share. ‘I felt a sense of satisfaction, contentment and happy exhaustion at the end of each day’s hard work. Working in the hot sun, using my bare hands to mix wet mud and cow dung didn’t make me feel squeamish or yucky. It gave me a surreal feeling of being one with the earth. This whole exercise has taught me the simple joys from labour, collaboration, working with patience, awakening sensibilities when working with one’s hands.

Andrew is inspired by his mother Karena de Souza who authored a book on Contours of Courageous Parenting.

Sachin is near 21 years. He was struggling at school in his 9th standard when he had made two attempts at his exams and failed. He was often getting labelled as a naughty student who will do nothing in life and he felt that there was no purpose in studies and he just wanted to have fun. But at some point he made a resolve to work hard and prove himself. He not only scored well in his 10th Board Exam but also did an Auto CAD course to take up an internship as a draftsperson. He learnt 3d modeling and then as part of his internship learnt mud building, clay plasters and site supervision. Today he feels happy that he can soar higher and soon become a project manager. Sachin has this to say. ‘If my mother had not to stand by me, gently coaxing me to try taking one step at a time, I wouldn’t have come this far. I enjoy my work, I make reels with our work team and it brings such joy to me every day.

How can we forget baby Jesus and how even as a small child he challenged many norms, exemplified empathy, forgiveness and love for all even those that betrayed or challenged Him. Finally when He was sentenced to be crucified on the cross, He embraced it all in an ultimate act of sacrifice. In all this his mother stood by him, in silent support, an epitome of piety. 

This Christmas while we welcome and rejoice in the birth of Jesus, let us also celebrate our youth that stand tall in upholding the values and integrity of courageous parents. Wish you a joyous Christmas.

(Tallulah D’Silva is an Architect and silver awardee of the Golden Door Award 2020 for truth and integrity)

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