Amidst the enchanting coastal beauty and vibrant cultural tapestry of Goa, a recent heart-wrenching incident has cast a profound shadow over this otherwise serene paradise. Within this tranquil coastal state, a four-year-old boy tragically lost his life in a hotel room, allegedly at the hands of his own mother, a CEO at an AI firm in Bengaluru. Preliminary investigations suggest that the motive behind this devastating act was to prevent her estranged husband from exercising his visitation rights. This heart-wrenching incident unfolded just a day before their scheduled meeting.
Exactly one year ago, on January 8,l 2023, another heart-wrenching tragedy unfolded in Candolim. In the midst of personal turmoil, Joy, overwhelmed by the instability within his family, tragically ended the lives of his two minor children. Subsequent police investigations unveiled that this heart-wrenching act led to his own tragic suicide by hanging.
These deeply troubling incidents, driven by parental alienation, extend beyond individual family tragedies, shedding a stark light on pressing concerns related to family stability and mental health within our society.
Understanding Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is a distressing situation where one parent intentionally influences their child or children to develop a negative, sometimes hostile, attitude towards the other parent. This manipulation can take various forms, including making hurtful remarks, preventing visitation, spreading false information, or instilling fear or guilt regarding the other parent.
1) Emotional Distress: Children caught in the midst of parental alienation often experience significant emotional turmoil. Caught in the crossfire of parental conflict, they grapple with confusion, anxiety, and emotional upheaval. They find themselves torn between their love for both parents, struggling to reconcile the artificially imposed negative feelings.
2) Long-lasting Psychological Effects: In severe cases, parental alienation inflicts long-lasting psychological trauma on children. Their self-esteem diminishes, relationships with peers become strained, and their overall well-being deteriorates. The scars of parental alienation may persist into adulthood, affecting their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive life choices.
3) Strained Parent-Child Relationships: Parental alienation erodes the precious bond between a child and the targeted parent. Alienated children may emotionally withdraw or refuse contact with the parent they’ve been manipulated to reject. This detachment deprives them of essential emotional support, guidance, and the nurturing influence of one of their primary caregivers.
Recognizing the Signs
Recognizing the signs of parental alienation is crucial for effective intervention:
1) Negative comments about one parent: When a child consistently makes derogatory remarks about one parent, often echoing the sentiments of the alienating parent.
2) Unwarranted fear or hostility: A child displaying unwarranted fear or hostility toward one parent, often without any concrete reason.
3) Resistance to visitation: When a child exhibits strong resistance or outright refusal to spend time with one parent, despite having previously had a positive relationship with them.
Addressing Parental Alienation
Effectively addressing parental alienation requires a comprehensive approach that encompasses legal, psychological, and community-based interventions:
1) Legal Framework: Goa should consider strengthening its legal framework to explicitly recognize and address parental alienation. This may involve revising family laws and custody arrangements to protect the rights of both parents and prioritize the child’s best interests.
2) Parenting Education: Offering parenting education programs during divorce or separation proceedings can empower parents with insights into the impact of their actions on their children. Such programs can encourage cooperative co-parenting and reduce the risk of parental alienation.
3) Early Intervention: Establish dedicated counselling services that are readily accessible to families facing or potentially facing parental alienation. These services should focus on nurturing constructive co-parenting dynamics, with a primary emphasis on safeguarding the well-being of the children involved.
4) Mediation Services: Creating specialized mediation services for high-conflict divorce cases can provide a structured platform for parents to resolve their differences amicably while prioritizing the child’s welfare.
5) Awareness Campaigns: Launching awareness campaigns about parental alienation through public initiatives, schools, and community organizations is essential. These efforts can help families recognize signs and encourage them to seek timely assistance.
6) Support Groups: Establishing support groups for parents who have experienced or are currently grappling with parental alienation can provide emotional support and practical guidance, facilitating the healing process for both parents and children.
A Call to Action
In conclusion, it is of paramount importance to underscore that the Goa State Commission for the Protection of Child Rights has encountered numerous cases in which children have tragically become innocent victims, ensnared in the emotional distress inflicted upon them by one of their parents. An in-depth analysis of cases involving child abuse, children grappling with substance abuse, and those entangled in legal conflicts has unveiled a deeply concerning pattern. These cases consistently display clear indicators of parental alienation, further exacerbated by backgrounds marked by separation and divorce. These distressing realities emphasize the urgent need for broader societal awareness of these multifaceted issues and the absolute necessity to establish robust support systems for families grappling with the complex challenges they present.
The issue of parental alienation is undeniably significant, with undeniable and lasting impacts on children. Recognizing the signs, understanding the profound gravity of the situation, and implementing effective interventions are essential and non-negotiable steps. By squarely confronting parental alienation, Goa can ensure that its families thrive in an environment characterized by love, support, and understanding, all while safeguarding the well-being of its most vulnerable members—the children. The tragic incident that has recently unfolded serves as a stark and poignant reminder that taking action is not merely an option; it is an imperative duty—one that is crucial for the future and well-being of our children.
(Peter F Borges, with over 21 years of experience working with children and young people, serves as the Hon’ble Chairperson of the Goa State Commission for Protection of Child Rights)
