A young woman stood next to my jeep, rather lost. She greeted me. I could not remember her name. Perhaps an old student. She said she needed help. Shelly lived with her old mother and 3 sisters in their ancestral home. Her father had passed away. Other uncles too were deceased. And recently they found themselves in a predicament where one relative along with her family was intimidating them for access to the family home and access to some room/s belonging to their uncle of which they were caretakers.
On the day I met her, a couple of weeks ago, her mother was home alone and these relatives were literally at their door demanding access and stayed put in their porch for the entire day! Shelly, her mom and sisters felt threatened. She did not know what to do and asked for my help. She lamented, “What’s the use of being so well educated, equipped with a job and independent? When intimidated and threatened by an individual or a group, particularly men, we don’t seem to find our voices against injustices.” She added that her father and his siblings were all settled with family assets distributed such that each had a home and it was given to understand that they would continue to live in the ancestral home. But in the absence of any legal paperwork and with her father and his siblings now deceased, they found themselves at the mercy of a particular relative who was using intimidation and harassment as a method to gain access to their home and more.
What is lawful? Yes, since the documents of the ancestral house are in the name of their grandfather, all his children will have rights to the house but the process of settlement of property has to be done through the court of law in the absence of even one successor being in agreement of a mutual and verbal settlement.
What is lawfool? To fool Shelly, her sisters and mother using intimidation, threatening and harassment to exercise the right to access property. Right now they live there, it’s their only home. No body, even a family member and one that has joint rights to the property can threaten, harass or intimidate to exercise his or her right. It is an offence under law to do so. I accompanied her home, the relatives had called on the police to allow them access to the house. We asserted the right to safety and security. With rights come responsibilities. One cannot misuse the law to threaten, harass or intimidate anybody. The police left and so did the relatives with a caution that till the matter is legally settled it would be advisable for them not to step on the property as we were witness to their lies, intimidation and harassment.
Closer home, Olinda, a well known community worker, has been in a similar predicament. She raises her two children alone and also takes care of her ageing mother. Her husband left them many years ago amidst threats, intimidation and harassment that either she leaves or he’ll leave. That she can keep the house and he’ll take the car. She silently endured hoping his violence and aggression would ebb. He left and then announced publicly that it was a mutual separation. The intimidation continued while she tried all attempts to save the marriage. He hired a lawyer and sent her the first notice, all persuasive terms for separation, a threat of public humiliation and lawsuit. She stood her ground. Another notice ensued again claiming his rights. She had done nothing wrong. She was simply protecting herself and her children from his aggressive ways. His threats, intimidation and harassment continued, even via email and messages. She tried again to convince him to repair. To which he again harassed her that marriage is nothing but a contract and all she had to do was sign on a paper for a contractual out of court arrangement with all terms set by him. Like a transactional marriage!
She did not relent to his unlawful demands or terms. He then wanted her to take off her social media picture with him. He threatened her that if within a specific day and time she did not change her profile picture, he would humiliate her on social media. She again stood her ground. True to his threat he publicly humiliated her and the children on social media! This public shaming led to the children’s school principal, classmates’ parents and family members becoming privy to his separated living and his ‘unlawful’ behaviour.
In a week’s time of his attempt to libel, he was forced to take off the post on social media because his own acquaintance asserted that this was most damaging to the children. Then followed more threats of taking her to court for a divorce. She again stood her ground. Following this he emailed her that he was seeing another woman. And then came a third notice by email from a second lawyer of persuasion and threat for separation, right to assets, and more rights! The intimidation, humiliation, harassment continued. She also continued enduring silently. Then came the fourth notice from a third lawyer, this time the letterhead read ‘high court’ lawyer. More persuasion for divorce, assertion of his rights and threat of a lawsuit. More recently, he has begun sending threats to her male friends, that he will take them to court if they dare to pretend to be the children’s father! Olinda too like Shelly called for help. We helped her report this and place it on record. It is an offence to threaten, intimidate, harass and commit libel. Be lawful, not a law fool!
(Tallulah D’Silva is a practising architect in Goa).
