“Who Is God – Who Does He/She Claim to Be? He/She’s been described as everything from an impersonal life force to a benevolent, personal, almighty creator. He has been called by many names, including: “Zeus”, “Jupiter”, “Brahma”, “Allah”, Ra, “Odin”, “Ashur”, “Izanagi”, “Viracocha”, “Ahura Mazda” and “the Great Spirit” to name just a few. He is seen by some as “Mother Nature” and by others as “Father God”. But who is He/She really? Who does He claim to be?” Is it your boss sitting behind the corner desk, or, sitting over your head playing God with your life and aspirations?
I used to be an angry, young woman. Though my friends would say years have not mellowed the rage I still feel, though wisdom has helped me channel the constant adrenalin spikes into constructive, focused, action. One such recent action was to share my own personal #MeToo story to help, support and empower other women to share their survivor nightmares, and heal from it. Empowered by the movement of #MeToo to find forums for engagement, to rebuild our fractured lives. It birthed the idea of ‘Empower’ my media platform to #Inform #Inspire #Influence as many survivors I’ve met, guided by an inner calling to enable a safe circle of healthy sharing. And, in turn, to help women to speak up for themselves. That is the power of #MeToo. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, came a recent situation, absolutely uncalled for, and so wrong ethically, which – the angry young woman that I am – had to be called out for its malafide intent. An alleged intent to misuse the very serious platform of #MeToo as we know it. A malafide intent for attempting to use my shoulder, without reason, invitation or permission. The apparent misuse of a platform to settle a vindictive score, under the concocted guise of #MeToo against his former employer.
Now I’m really a no-nonsense person. Very clearly and bluntly. So, how and why do people assume you have given them the right to invade your personal space without invitation, amuses me. When the uninvited intrusion occurs, I shut them down. Right there, right then. As I did this person too, making my intent very clear of his misuse of this serious platform. I was pleasantly reminded once again by the Universe that the angry, young woman had gone nowhere. She’s very much in full power.
When the tsunami of #MeToo broke across India’s film, media and entertainment industry, and big, ego swollen, self important heads rolled off from their perverted bodies for their very small minds and deeds, there was much celebration across the spectrum of urban India. It was, and is, a clarion call. Heeded by many, as it continues to rage across the country. Small minds who take their small deeds and small words with them, lording over authority and influence, irrespective of place, time, space, age or circumstance.
It is exactly why India has so many women (and men) coming forward to share their horrific stories experienced in their unsafe offices and allied work spaces. Using their authority for work meeting in hotels, for interviews or discussions. Violating respect and authority for vested interests. Bosses who we look to for mentorship, and editors and newsroom heads who claim they are saving the world from the bad wolves, while instead donning the cunning behaviour of wolves themselves to hound, harass, blackmail their women colleagues, junior subordinates in their own offices. Women (and men) who go to work each morning to support their families, feed their children or aging parents, who dream of a better life, live a greater value, and seek to contribute to their communities or social circles. This pressure is unnecessary. It is uncalled for. It is injustice. And hence, it is not acceptable. Yes, like I’ve said before and again now, people just assume you have given them the power to invade your personal space, just because you have got yourself into a professional relationship of employment with them. I’ve learnt very early in life to shut down a predator, or a harasser when you sense one. Not everybody comes equipped with nerves to fight.
For all of my years in media (27th year running) and still hallowed grounds for some of us who believe in the mighty role it has to play for truth and information, misusing a media space, role, title, or chair for selfish, self centric, manipulative, contorted extortion interests is insulting the greater good the position can do instead. It is insulting the intelligence of your readers, and violating the trust placed in you to contribute towards a larger role, most important than yourself. That’s why I’m still the angry, young woman. And hence it is not cool for misguided folks to misuse a serious platform like #MeToo, that women worldwide are banking on to bring about much need change to our laws, working conditions and society mindsets. Not cool to unlawfully and maliciously use serious movements to discredit others for a personal grievance you have against them.
By and large, #MeToo is a serious movement in India. For its working women across all spectrums, to be heard, to be counted for safer, healthy, constructive working environments. To put into place urgent redressals systems for justice. It is for the betterment of this country, if it wants equal participation of women to improve its failing GDP. To create economic growth and wealth. To be participative in nation and community building with our talent, to make India the super power it deserves to be. This sweep of change will not happen if people in power continue to disrespect us, violate us, humiliate us, beat us, harass us, break our spirit. Use our laws against us, shame us to make yourself comfortable, and threaten us with ‘dire consequences’ for speaking up against the violation of our personal and professional spaces. Isn’t it said ‘hell hath no fury when women are told to shut up?’ It has finally happened. So, no, we are not going to shut up.
We create our own Universe. Courage means feeling the fear and doing it anyway. So better start by cleaning up your own backyard first.
(Ethel Da Costa is an award winning Lifestyle Journalist)
