Edward was heard relating to his friends: On my visit to my relatives I would always find a guy seated at the entrance of the house. He would greet but I would sport a fake smile. There was something that I found fishy and wondered – is he a bekar loudi? Yet, his physical attire and branded stuff didn’t match with the tag bekar loudi. What was he, I was curious – A broker, a mediator, negotiator… there was an inner conflict and hundreds of thoughts moved within my headgear. Edgar’s friends retorted: why the hell are you taking unnecessary stress.
Leave him alone! Ahre yaar, listen, it’s not over, my cousin saw uneasiness on my face and asked Edgar: is everything okay with you? I shook my head horizontally and slowly whispered in his ears: what is that man doing outside? I see him often and somehow I have an aversion towards him. My relative smiled with a pat on my back. He is come for money. He simply says I will get your work done through his influence. I don’t pick his calls so he comes and sits. Your cousins also don’t like him. They say: Lokam khustar fozne marta – poke foznnekar. And they even scold me. So disgusting, said Edgar’s friends, there are many characters like him.
In our day today life, we come across many such situations and characters as we run errands and even when we choose to breathe some fresh air, they make their presence felt. First and foremost we are never free of conflicts. Our mind is always at war within with funny and silly things. For I have certain attachments to my beliefs, desires and aspirations. I may be patient, kind and loving but I behave the other way when I see someone whom I don’t like. The discomforts I go through and confusion about life. Our God is a loving God at the same time we have suffering and sickness. I may be honest but I tell a lie to get my work done. Why, why?
It is important to know and identify with oneself. Internal conflict arises when we are met with evidence that contradicts our beliefs about ourselves. To chisel us and to sustain our mental capacity and patience, we are offered opportunities that brings such people in our lives or such situations so that we are prepared for something higher that awaits us or is kept in store for us. For the Word of God says: I have plans for you, plans for your welfare not for woe. Plans to give you a future full of hope.
When we experience any kind of internal conflict, what is really happening is that there is a disagreement between our heart and head. Our head intelligence helps to give our lives structure, direction, and practical application. But our heart intelligence is what breathes life and truth into our life journeys. Without listening to our hearts, we live soulless, unfulfilling, and inauthentic lives and without listening to our heads, we live in absolute chaos. We need to listen to both the heart and the head. And all this is not easy. Life will give many challenging lessons; it is left up to us to decide, to win or to lose. To be at peace or be in pieces!
