Parenting is a rollercoaster filled with highs and lows! Recently, I beheld a young mother endeavouring to curb her two diminutive children. Besides throwing a fit, the infants messed up the room with toys and other items. The mother had the formidable chore of tidying up the place and restraining the little ones. Unfortunately, the hyperactive children remained unruffled despite the mother’s outrage at their pranks.
I recalled my dearly departed mother, Padmakumari, who fulfilled her obligations as mother and wife with grace and finesse.
Middle-class families seldom kept a maid to provide childcare in the past. No childcare centres or preparatory schools were available for parents to keep their little ones. Instead, the parents gave occasional or full-time childcare responsibilities to a single aunt or the grandparents.
Family legend has it that a maternal grandaunt, Dhanalakshmi, would accompany my grandparent’s family whenever the army regiment my grandfather served and relocated.
Today, the wealthy employ full-time nannies, who are rewarded with sustenance and shelter. As a result, many came from rural areas and could rarely return to their localities. In those days, women viewed babysitting as both an art and a science, and they enjoyed it. Our mother, Padmakumari, was the sole care taker for my siblings and me. Father M N Jayaraman’s daily job at a defence establishment from 8am until 2pm and running domestic errands occupied his time. My mother implemented an unconventional yet effective plan to keep us in place while doing her work. She tethered one of our legs to the cot with a string, sprinkled puffed rice and fried grams on a newspaper, and dashed off to do her errands.
The snack became our go-to indulgence for when we were by ourselves. Infants rocked in a cradle of saree material, and a lullaby in their native tongue would ease them into slumber. Mothers would also utilise this manoeuvre during train rides, with the air drifting from the windows inducing the babies to slumber. An elder child, considered an example of virtue, was delegated to look after his/her junior siblings. We would only dare to venture out of the house with the sanction of the family elders.
My role as the eldest child was to corral my younger siblings or keep them from straying. I would lock the entrance and exit with a bolt or latch and keep them on a tight rein. Besides, we would engage in enjoyable pastimes to stay connected and maintain our morale. On a night of bright visibility, we relished counting the stars or hearing the tales narrated by the elders, while we reclined on mats arranged beneath a guava tree.
We shivered at the sight of the slender bamboo cane that our father utilised to chastise his rebellious offspring. We mustered the nerve to hurl the sticks into the conservancy lane when our dad was away. But soon, he would bring a new cane to warn that the wrongdoer would be made accountable. Our teachers did not shy away from utilising the rod to discipline us. Yet, with corporal punishment outlawed in many countries, controlling a wayward child is challenging nowadays!
