April 21, a day and date of God’s infinite love and mercy for the people of Goa! Yes, it’s a day of that Heroic Star, that shines and sparkles all over the world, the Apostle of Sri Lanka, the Son of Goa, St Joseph Vaz, whose birthday we celebrated few days back.
Today, the Son of the soil is remembered precisely to inspire and enlighten the faithful amidst the Pandemic, yes, the second wave that’s creating panic, fear, unemployment, so on. The humble soul, who too fought deadly diseases and conquered souls, has a very important, radical and soul searching message to give us. His last instruction to his brother priests when asked to advice was: “What you are not able to do in your life time, you will not be able to do it on your deathbed.”
Few days back I was touched by a post that enlightened me, confirmed my deepest thoughts and deepened my reflection. Yes, hearing of confessions not by priests but by doctors in the hospitals. Before dying many of the patients confessed to the doctors their fears and disappointments and also expressed their last wishes which the doctors tried to fulfill, sometimes unsuccessfully. In fact, a yearning to correct a wrong they had done to loved ones often occupied their minds on the deathbed. Here is what the doctors related: A 45-year-old patient who knew death was awaiting him told his doctor he had not spoken to his brother in 10 years after a tiff over property. “The night before he died, he confessed that he had done wrong by misappropriating property and wanted to hand over a portion to his brother. He requested me to find his brother, but we were unable to trace him despite all efforts,” said Dr M Raja Rao, superintendent Gandhi hospital, adding that he had shed tears almost every day during the pandemic.
Another young couple which parted ways on a bitter note lay in two different isolation wards in different cities, one dying and wanting to find the other. “The patient had felt it was his mistake and had ignored all attempts for reconciliation. He wept bitterly requesting us to find his partner and let her know his feelings. He died before he could tell us how,” said a doctor who heard the confession. He had also been requested by a few to help them slip out of the hospital to meet their families one last time. Most confessions circled around property, money transactions, sharing of responsibilities, ego clashes and ‘wrongdoings’ that were not specified. There were other last wishes too, which included their favourite food and even a sip of their favourite tipple. Dr Ajay Kumar Joopaka, assistant professor of psychiatry, said “that for some who wanted to meet their families, the doctors made video calls. But during the end stages a few could not recognise their own families as they had developed psychosis and were away from reality.”
All through their life, it was I and Ego; might and power. The doctors in Hyderabad made good of this situations by sharing so that those living may open their eyes and repair the damages done. To heal and bind, to forgive and reconcile, to change and renew one’s life!
