Within a span of a week, apart from innumerable tests I had two MRI scans to my credit. Not certain whether such a development should be worthy of mention, leave alone, anything to brag about. But it sure made my better half chuckle and furthermore remark rather gravely, “well, it’s finally confirmed you do have brains, ma’am!” impulsively I punched him, while he easily or rather habitually ducked. I felt more like a burnt out loaf of bread put in a cold furnace, I confessed. I could see him visualising my plight. Come on, you are my brave gal, he smiled re-assuringly. I put on my happy Buddha look for him, and hoped magically, the skies would clear.
The thought of being strapped and trapped and mummified a good over 20 minutes of your life in a magnetic scanner, is indeed very revolting. Add to it the inexplicable raucous sounds emitted, as if some strange alien creatures were desperately trying to communicate with you. Just when you’re getting accustomed to the obnoxious sounds encompassing you, you are then exposed to a range of dynamics, that leaves you quite perplexed. There’s hammering, drumming, dribbling, vibrations and tremors and what have you. The Good Samaritan gesture of providing earplugs to reduce the volume does precious little to ease the discomfort. Karma sure was catching up, I mused, compelling myself to enjoy the freaked psychedelic experience of sorts.
As I lay still while the machine magnetically tried to graph the existence and functioning of my brain, I dare not opened my eyes, least I felt claustrophobic. I was given an alarm bell and it was close at hand, and my very being screamed, press it right away, press it right away, better still scream and get out. Imagine the startled looks it would evoke. At that very instant I knew what, Reshammiya meant when he kept exclaiming, excitedly and urgently, time and again, over and over again- ‘Mind blowing’ mind blowing’ at all the reality shows.
So here I was all alone, in a crude mechanical womb, mousetrapped, straightjacketed in a way, while the scanner merrily captured radio-magnetic images of my grey cells. Suddenly, it dawned upon me that I’m reduced to and identified as a mere anatomy, a mass of protons, molecules, tissues and cells. Stripped off my precious identity, my egoistic personality, it was time to introspect.
Memories engulfed me, I decided to filter out the bad and concentrate on the good, happy ones. My mind refused to acknowledge the loud unpleasant sounds emitted by the machine and slowly the noise started receding and eventually died out. I had overcome the mind fixation and reached a stage where I refused to react to the sounds. Fortunately, that not being the case, I came out semi dazed with Anthony Bourdain, whispering gently in my plugged ears. ‘Perhaps wisdom is realising how small I am and unwise too, and how far I have yet to go.’
Well, the revelation not only ate into my precious time, but also my bank balance and not to forget licked my brains leaving a sordid taste on my tongue.
