As soon as Easter begins, the villages exuberate with a celebratory mood with weddings in queues and other celebrations. While participating in one of the nuptials, I was moved by the homily and liked the three short stories used by the priest to inspire the bride and the bridegroom and those present. One was:
After a few years of married life, seated on the sofa, the husband was going through a document. His wife was surprised at his concentration, and asked him, “What’s up?” He said it was nothing. His wife came closer and looked over his shoulder and whispered, “I know, it’s our marriage certificate, and may I ask what you are looking for?” The husband, without a second thought, replied, “I am trying to locate the expiry date.”
The second story:
A few years after the marriage, the husband and wife are at the breakfast table. The wife is sipping her coffee thoughtfully, and the husband has his head buried in the morning’s newspaper. The wife suddenly blurts out, “I am thinking of leaving you.” The man drops his newspaper, sits bolt upright and in an annoyed voice asks, “Why, what’s wrong?” This wife says in a somewhat irritated tone of voice, “You never say you love me, that you care for me, and you never utter a word of appreciation for all that I do for you.” The man replies somewhat coolly, “Look here, five years ago, on our wedding day, I told you at the altar, ‘I do,’ “and then he added, “If I ever change my mind, I will let you know.”
The third story was about former President Ronald Reagan and first lady Nancy Reagan:
Nancy Reagan was once asked how she managed to stay in her marriage relationship with Ronald Reagan over so many years, when marriages around her and in their social circle were breaking down. Nancy said that she gave 60% and expected 40% from Ronald. When Ronald was asked the same questions, he said that he gave 60% and expected 40% from Nancy. Through their unity they could overcome all hurdles or struggles and problems. Because it was never “her” or “his” problem but “ours”!
These short stories speak of the ingredients of everlasting commitment – fidelity, appreciation and attention. The fact is that there is no expiry date on the marriage certificate. The pronouncement of the vows is the defining moment.
The second story illustrated that appreciation, communication, encouragement, and the expression gratitude need to be done from time to time, not just through words but also deeds. It implies not taking each other for granted. You are not called to change each other, but to value each other; and to appreciate one need to communicate. So, communication is important for relationships to grow in all walks of life!
The third story illustrated the need of self-giving, which demands constant attention and giving more than taking, offering more than receiving. Of course self-giving is a challenge because we live in an age and time where self-fulfilment, self-sufficiency, self-absorption and self-gratification get priority. Self-giving implies that we are ready to sacrifice our time, our individual plans and ambitions for the good of each other, the good of the family and the church at large.
Yes, many new families are formed where vows are exchanged and promises sealed saying: Set me as a seal upon your heart; till death do us part. Therefore, let the key messages from these stories – acceptance, appreciation and attention – help to commit to each other constantly in total fidelity with no expiry date! And let it not be – love at first sight and divorce at first fight!
