Recently we were invited to a small engagement ceremony of a dear relative’s son, a casual affair but full of warmth and ecstasy of the impending union. As the proud father introduced the couple to his close circle in the function hall, he encouraged everyone to share their personal reflections on “togetherness”—a heartfelt gesture, perhaps to offer a compass for the young lovebirds about to embark on their journey together.
A series of heartfelt stories unfolded, each echoing unique experiences and the twists and turns of married life. The festivities eventually concluded, but a lingering question danced in my mind: What does “togetherness” truly mean?
In the exhilarating early days of marriage, the thrill of having a partner who is exclusively for you is further spruced up by the fact that there is always someone to pamper you, share your meals, to buy gifts, and the warmth of companionship make life feel complete. Slowly but surely the magic wears off, and as time passes, the initial enchantment may fade, replaced by the challenges of balancing individuality with unity.
Navigating through disagreements and making endless adjustments become part of the journey. Yet, with determination and love, couples persevere, often driven by the weight of societal expectations—lest “What will people say?” becomes the refrain.
As families grow with the addition of children, the dynamics shift, presenting the new challenges and joys. The children add love and happiness, yet are definitely a challenge for the newly minted parents. The priority quickly shifts from each other to raising the kids. Parents find themselves immersed in the whirlwind of school activities, lunchbox preparations, tuitions, exams, extracurricular activities, heart-warming milestones, and heart-wrenching setbacks. Life races ahead. The journey from kindergarten to graduation is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, leaving parents exhilarated, exhausted, and eternally grateful.
It ends when some twenty to thirty years have flown past. The tiny feet you guided to walk; now have wings, ready to fly off the nest to build one of their own.
The empty nest, I believe, is the most defining part of a marriage, and the real meaning of togetherness dawns. The dreams the couple had for their children are finally a reality. They once again inch closer and look into each other with love. It’s no longer about societal pressure or tradition, more of having and cherishing a partner who was by your side all along the topsy-turvy path. The fashion trends, classy interiors, the political leanings, the family grudges, the high-end shopping, travel to exquisite destinations, and the choice of friends – all take a back seat, and now it’s more into cherished memories.
All you wish is the comfort of companionship in a cosy living room with warm food and fond memories. Any wedding is only the beginning of being together.
The essence of marriage comes after years of love, fights, tears, travels, festivities, celebrations and all ups and downs of the journey.
As time mellows and maturity deepens, the gift of togetherness becomes all the more precious. Only later in life, togetherness is experienced and cherished, it’s a gift bestowed on those who stick together through the mess of early married life and challenges of parenthood. Many of the marriages could be saved if couples looked beyond and kept away from the fantasy of romanticised marriages portrayed on celluloid screens!
In the end, it is not the grand gestures or the fairy-tale moments that define a marriage, but the everyday acts of love, understanding, and companionship. Togetherness sparkles in small moments, teaching us that love’s journey is best shared, hand in hand, through life’s ups and downs.
