Mama said we wouldn’t be ‘celebrating’ Christmas this year. Being the first Christmas without Dad, none of us felt like it anyway. So we didn’t have new dresses this year, we didn’t have the tree all dressed up in the verandah, no tiny adorable crib in the corner, no aroma of the treats and delicacies wafting through the air for a few days right until Christmas morning, no carols reverberating in the house, no Santa hats and matching outfits, no white curtains dressed prettily with red bows, no colourful boxes of present paper, and definitely no Christmassy decor adorning the walls. Nothing that felt like Christmas. It was a quiet Christmas eve, we attended an early mass and were home well before midnight, where we enjoyed a wonderful meal and gorged on rum balls and other sweets, and some wine, because, well, there’s always wine!
But this year, I saw the house come alive during Christmas. Never before had we seen such an outpour of love from friends, relatives and neighbours. We had visitors all day, coming in with sweets and good cheer. I saw laughter, I saw love. I received such broad smiles and big hugs. I was greeted by unexpected faces, some old friends, some new. I witnessed happy stomachs and cheeky grins, received thoughtful gifts and was lost in long conversations, and experienced so much happiness, in tiny doses throughout the day. If this isn’t Christmas, pray tell me, what is? It’s definitely been more of Christmas this year than it has over the past few years. This day isn’t about the fancy lights and decoration in the house, or the tree, or the dances, the outfits. It just isn’t.
We really have been missing the whole point of Christmas. Here we were, totally ‘not celebrating’ Christmas, until Christmas just happened. Christmas is a state of mind, a state of heart. We didn’t need any pretty bows on gifts this year, for we received much bigger things in the form of love that everyone shared with us. It didn’t matter what was on our table, for we had so many happy and content faces around it. And I could swear that I felt Papa’s presence here in the house with us; So if this isn’t Christmas, pray tell me, what is?
If you know someone who has lost a loved one recently, be there for them this Christmas. No doubt this is supposed to be the best time of the year. But for many who will be facing their first Christmas season without a loved one, this season could be stressful and full of grief. We didn’t know what to expect, but were fortunate enough to not feel lonely during these days, although we missed Dad so much.
The reason I decided to share my feelings with the world, is because I believe this is something people have to hear. If so many people could make a difference to my life, I should be able to as well through my writing.
Would you happen to meet someone who seems off or dejected, probably rude, or just not Christmassy enough for you, don’t judge. Rather, share a smile and try and be their light.
