MARCOS GONSALVES
marcos@herald-goa.com
MARGAO: Director of Diocesan Family Service Centre (DFSC) Fr Kenneth Teles feels that the root cause of divorce is the value system, which has turned pathetic due to modern developments. Counselling of the bride and groom can result in happy and long married life only if a “give and take” pattern is adopted.
He was reacting to the government’s decision to make premarital counselling mandatory to bring down the divorce cases in Goa.
It is pertinent to note that the DFSC is engaged in premarital counselling for several decades. The course conducted by the Centre is mandatory before the marriage for the Catholic couples. The Marriage Formation Department of DFSC prepares the engaged couples to embrace marriage as vocation. It also strengthens the bonds of relationship between the spouses. The Centre gives an ample opportunity for these couples to take time out from their hectic schedule and prepare themselves not only for their wedding day but also for their married life.
Speaking to Herald Fr Teles said, “Goa has a rich value system. However, in recent times, it has weakened a lot and is one of the reasons for divorce. The value system needs to be upheld if so many things can be changed. We need to go back to our root of values, which include family values, values of upbringing, etc”.
According to Fr Teles, issues for divorce can be plenty. But at the same time “give and take” is the best solution to put an end to divorce cases.
“We at the Family Centre, under the Marriage Preparation Programme help the engaged couples to focus on themselves with the view of knowing each other well, relating to each other in an optimal relationship and to start a new life of oneness, while sharing each other’s rich personalities. However, there are ups and downs and hence we need to work on this sensitive issue to stop divorce cases”, he added.
He opined that modern development, such as the excess use of mobile and other things has resulted in a friendship. But friendship can turn into punishment for some and enjoyment for few.
“Of 100 marriages, if two or three end up in divorce does not mean that counselling efforts have gone in vain. There are ups and downs. Divorce is a big issue and we all need to work to find solutions”, said Fr Teles.
He said, “At this point of time, we cannot say anything on the initiative of the government with regards to making pre-marriage counselling mandatory for the bride and the groom, however, it has to be a ‘give and take’ pattern.”
“Whatever may be the cause, a value system is the best solution to sustain marriages”, he added.
Some of the contents of the Marriage Preparation Programme under the Diocesan Family Service Centre are “Marriage- A Call from God and A Covenant with God”, “Awareness of the Reproductive System of a Man and Woman”, “Respect for Life from Conception to Natural Death”, “Awareness on the Fertility Cycle of the Woman”, “Conjugal Sexual Relationships”, “Knowledge about Oneself and the Partner”, “Time and Finance Management”, “Openness in Communication”, “Knowledge about Marriage Preparation”, “Awareness on STDs/HIV/AIDS”, “Natural Family Planning and Prayer” and “Spirituality in the Spouses’ Life”.
