Ramu has been feeling fatigued with his frequent trips to his bombed-out capital city. He slept early and drifted into a very deep sleep. Soon his dreams took him to the condition of his land today of today. In his dream, he started thinking about good careers and jobs for the youth of his place and came up with a fantastic plan to start a unique educational institution.
He thought that the need of the hour is to train the youth in elected public life to maximise their earnings. He said to himself: “There is no school on how to rob the State’s resources. An international university of ‘Governance’ of world-class standards needs to be built, to prepare our talented youth for a long and prosperous career in public life. The University will have different schools offering multiple courses to give you a “wealth” of experience. While the experience will take its time, the wealth will come in no time, through an inbuilt mechanism of loot and robbery.”
His friend and advisor Chintamani also appeared and Ramu told him, “We need a top-class architect and urban planner to build this sprawling campus over 200 acres.”
Chintamani: Then it is not a college, it’s a township.
Ramu: Well, it is almost like one. Or else, how can we accommodate so many students, faculty, and above all courses, with the capacity to add more and more? Also since our teachers will be better than those in colleges in UK and America they need to live in style, in palatial villas with swimming pools.
C: I’m curious so what kind of courses will you have and who you will select.
R: Not select o wise Chintamani, ‘elect’. Those we elect will become professors here, teaching various courses not taught anywhere. They are the best in the business and in their current capacity as public figures they have wide experience in the subjects they will teach. These are the courses planned:
Course 1 Foundation course in managing the public treasury: It will teach you to use the treasury as your personal bank account, spend as you like how you like, ‘safely’.
Course 2 Botany & Forestry: This course will be taught by an elected expert and focus on how to clear forests to make way for construction and mining. It will also teach how you can welcome tiger visitors as our honoured guests who will come and go back to Maharashtra.
Course 3 Land grabbing: This course will give students expertise in changing land titles and selling them to others as their own. The course will also include a special chapter on how to make friends with Sub Registrars and mamlatdars.
Course 4 River Diversion and water mismanagement: This is a tough course. This involves diverting free-flowing traditional rivers which provide water for irrigation and sustain life, to other States while promising the people that their water will not be diverted. Here engineering, river navigation and management will all be taught.
Course 5 Health is wealth: This course will specialise on how to make wealth from health. Everything will be high-end, and infrastructure will be created and bought from favourite manufacturers. The course will also teach how to build other businesses like well-to-do pharmacies, as part of the health infrastructure.
Course 6 Coal dust is gold dust: This is to make students appreciate the beauty of coal, and how such beauty can be transported on railway tracks, highways, and rivers through the ports. The main investor of this university is in this business so this will be a special course.
Course 7 Mingling with the mafia: This is a practical course with no books but with hands in training on how to control the mafia trading in substances, running all-night parties to other street and hotel pleasure businesses. This is a cash-rich activity and has no economic slow-down.
Chintamani takes a deep breath and says “Wow, and who will be interested in this? Where will you get students from?” Ramu looks at this and says, “Oh you worry too much Chintamani. I have it all planned. There will be no problem as so many youth including the jobless will see this as the stepping stone towards great wealth in the name of public service.”
This time Ramu had a question for Chinta, “Oh wise one, will I also get a bust or a statue on the beach for starting this unique university?”
Chinta smiled and said, “Yes Ramu on one condition, you have to be elected so there will be no place for you on the beach.”
Ramu then woke up from his dream and found Chinta at his home. He got very upset at Chinta and complained, “You and I were having such a good conversation and were building so many castles. Why did you wake me up?”
A bewildered Chintamani tugged at his veshti and walked into the kitchen requesting Mrs. Ramu to make a hot tumbler of coffee for him and the sulking Ramu.
