VIBHA VERMA
vibha@herald-goa.com
PANJIM: A double post-graduate career-oriented woman was subjected to harassment in less than a year of her marriage.
The 32-year-old’s family had hosted a grand wedding not realising her in-laws would show their true colours thereafter. The victim, requesting to conceal her identity, interacted with Herald confessing that the groom’s family has not been too good with her.
“It is an arranged marriage. The groom’s family did not demand dowry directly but asked us to host a grand wedding besides taking care of their relatives’ accommodation and meals till the end of the ceremony. This was not it. They also demanded “gifts” for every small occasion and festival during the first year of our marriage, all of which was agreed to,” she recalled.
While her in-laws had no objection to anything earlier; post-marriage, she said things changed. “My mother-in-law in particular hurled abuses and taunted me for every bit. If I uttered a word, she would accuse me of arguing with her,” the victim stated.
She unfortunately has little support from her husband as he does not question his parents about the alleged harassment on his wife. “He blames me for disliking his parents and picks up a fight with me, but will never question them,” the assistant manager of a private firm added. The only respite to her is that her in-laws reside in the neighbouring state and visit Goa occasionally. “During the number of days they stay here, our relationship (husband-wife duo) suffers. Once they (in-laws) go back to their native town, everything is normal… My family has fulfilled every wish of theirs but I don’t understand why a daughter-in-law is most often ill-treated,” she rued. In spite of all this, the victim does not want to seek legal recourse citing it would further aggravate the situation.
This is just one example of an educated daughter silently suffering to the ill-treatment and more so, not reporting the matter to any appropriate authority. Experts state that reasons so many cases go unreported are either due to embarrassment, fear of retaliation, economic dependency, pendency of investigation or trial (if reported) and even societal.
The State unarguably witnesses a large number of cases of domestic violence but only a few of those affected take a firm stand to fight against the crime. Women’s organization Bailancho Saad has expressed serious concern over the trend questioning as to why only women are taught to adjust.
“We have so many unhappy women. They do not come forward to file complaints because they are either emotionally blackmailed or due to other factors. The one who is violent (either husband or in-laws), law needs to deal with them but victim is asked to adjust. Why? Nothing is done to stop the crime,” said NGO convener Sabina Martins.
Martins said that domestic violence is a perennial problem as she also accuses the police of not registering some cases. “Domestic violence is so prevalent and the mindset of the police is not to register the case. They speak of keeping a family intact without realising that it is already on the verge of ruins,” she said.
Another NGO Udant shared the same view stating that women usually refrain from reporting the matter. “We received three cases but the women did not report the cases as they fear of being thrown out of the house. In another case, the husband would return home in a drunken state and assault his wife almost every night. The victim often called us for help and then backed out the next day because she would receive money from him,” Udant President Anita Pereira said.
Citing the cases she has handled so far, she explained that reluctance to report the crime is because a woman is discouraged to fight for herself.
According to the National Crime Records Bureau, the State recorded a meagre 35 cases under dowry harassment and related offences in 2015. Martins challenged the data claiming that during a survey, her organization received over 60 cases in just three months. “Most of these cases were not registered. Time and again, cases are brushed under the carpet,” she added.
However, the women’s police station claims that they have been receiving increasing number of harassment cases that includes domestic violence. “Cases are on the rise. Women are filing complaints,” PI Sudiksha Naik told Herald.
The NGOs however argue that only those cases that either can be politicised or have political interference are registered with the police.
But there’s no arguing that domestic violence is a silent crime against which want to scream out, but are silenced.
