Loddy Pires
On June 5, 1841, Msgr Fransoni ordained a priest, the 26-year-old Fr John Bosco, later popularly called Don Bosco. He was not a saint, but a young priest of good will, still searching for his way in the world.
Don Bosco was intelligent. He literally burnt the midnight oil for studies. Poverty was his constant companion. The day was spent working. He learnt many trades to spare his mother the tuition fee.
Don Bosco loved the boys in their situation of misery. The young do not have to adapt to our plans, but our plans must see to the needs of the young. Don Bosco was horrified by the misery of the city and the suburbs. If he tried to approach the boys, they would run away, although in reality these were eyes of fear rather than ferocity. He had to earn their confidence with infinite patience and goodness.
Although never married, Don Bosco was a father to homeless boys. He is a model for parents who are the ‘educators par excellence’.
Don Bosco found many young men without family or homes; many worked on construction projects. He gathered boys on Sundays for games, entertainment, prayer and religious instruction. He began housing boys providing them the care and safety of a family. Relying on God to provide the resources, he built schools, workshops and boarding houses where the boys learned trades. He gave his “sons” their basic necessities and above all, a father’s love. He invited his mother Mamma Margaret to be a mother to the boys. As a fatherless child (his father Francis died when he was 2 years old), Don Bosco realised that he had a calling to care for neglected boys. At the age of nine, in a dream, he saw himself in a field, surrounded by children who were yelling and fighting. He tried to calm them, first by persuasion, then by force. “Don’t use violence,” said a mysterious person. “Be gentle if you want to win their friendship.” The children who had momentarily changed into wild animals, now appeared to become submissive lambs. Then a woman instructed John to “lead them out to pasture.”
This dream set the course of his life and the pattern of gentleness: his style of parenting. Don Bosco won the confidence of boys just by being with them. He played with them, talked with, and listened to them. Some parents have tried with some success to show love “Don Bosco style” to their children. They gather sometimes for a family togetherness – play, watch a movie or go out for a meal.
Do parents act like lion tamers or like gentle shepherds with their children? Living in a Christian culture, Don Bosco instructed them in the faith. Parents face challenges with their kids. Don Bosco’s “system” was to pray and then act, counting on the Lord to direct his efforts. Ask God’s help to resolve a “sticky” situation. Then go about your day doing what seems best, trusting in God.
Don Bosco’s system had another strength, one that energised every aspect of his fatherhood. “I have promised God, that until my last breath, I shall have lived for my poor young people.
