Youngsters who are away from their fathers can easily
relate to the feeling of excitement when they see their
father’s name flash across their phone when they call.
It is easily the only bonding tool they share when they
are away. Their father’s voice over the speaker of the
phone is more precious than anything. Fathers play
an important role in a child’s development from birth
through adulthood. There are numerous studies to show
that children with involved fathers have an advantage,
socially and academically, over children with distant or
no relationships with their dads. The simple question
asked by a father, on what the children learnt at school
also holds more value, and helps children do better in
school.
Nowadays, the gap between father and child has
grown close. There are fathers who are stern with their
children but also show their emotional side freely.
“Though my father is away from home, he still calls
every day to know what I am up to. I share the details of
my day with my father and every phone call he makes is
important to me,” says Ana Rodrigues from Mapusa.
Charlene Farrell, a counsellor working closely with
children has noticed the effects of a missing father figure
on the home. “The lack of father figure is troubling for
a family, for both girls and boys. It also affects their self
esteem and their ability to deal with relationships when
they don’t have a male figure in the house. Girls find it
difficult to deal with the opposite sex and for boys, their
father can help them understand gender issues,” says
Charlene.
She further adds, “The presence of a father in
the family is most important for children during
their formative years and adolescent years. Though
most parents think that their children have grown up
when they are teenagers, it is an important phase for
youngsters when they need their parents the most. The
trend of a father working abroad has been continuing,
and the scenario back home is getting worse, as there
are more issues coming up.”
Gordon Mendonca from Panjim is a loving father
to his 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter. They
are pampered in his presence and missed dearly when
they are separated. In Goa for a few months, Gordon
is making the most of his family time. “I enjoy being
together with the family and every small activity turns
out to be great fun with the children. I love teaching
them their lessons, taking them for music classes and
teaching them to make baked goodies while also
involving them in the process. When I am around I take
them to the beach to relax,” says Gordon.
When he is away the children miss him a lot. “In
my absence, my wife is their mom and dad. She is very
strong and takes care of the children. My last posting
was in Papua New Guinea and I had very bad network
connectivity. The most I could do was call as often as
possible, while video calling reduced the quality of the
call,” adds Gordon.
Once home from work, Cyril D’Cruz spends his
evening in front of the computer, video calling his family
in Goa. He visits Goa as frequently as possible to be with
his wife and three children. “Even though I am away
from home, I try to keep up with whatever is happening
in my children’s lives. They feel comfortable sharing their
issues with me, and though I miss being with them in
person, I try to be with them online. Now, all grown up
and working, children will always be children to their
parents, and I cherish that bond with my kids. Months
before I come down to Goa, I see the excitement they
share that I will be visiting them. My wife and I share the
decision making process for the family,” says Cyril.
Dr. Nandita de Souza, Director of Sethu and a
Developmental and Behavioural Pediatrician says, “A
father figure is very important for the family, and it is as
important as food and water. Even if the father is not
around, a male father figure is important for the family.”
This Father’s Day, make that all important phone call
just to remind your father how important he is to you
and share with him what you miss the most about him.
