Telephones existed long before the emergence of the internet but there were limitations. Even today, the cost to talk to anyone over a large distance from a mobile phone is not a small one. The late 90s with the launch of messenger apps and LiveJournal; 4chan and Facebook in the 2000’s; popular social media platforms of today such as Twitter, Snapchat and WhatsApp and suddenly, communication over phones and long distances is not limited to what it used to be. Nearly every app has a messaging system now, making it easier to connect with people whose names you may never even know.
There’s no one specific way to make online friends and every person has their own version of how it happens to begin with. Sometimes it starts with one person and goes into a whole group.
“We started with FB Pokemon group. People dropped their numbers there and a WhatsApp group was created with all of us added in. Then some other group links were also shared like Naruto, Dragon Ball, and a programming group for those interested,” says Eric Saldanha, a 23 year-old customer support executive from Mapusa. “Another way was gaming. I got added in the WhatsApp group where more players were. We kept adding new players and some group links were shared. Then, we hosted some unofficial gaming tournaments just for fun started playing other games with the same people and then met some more new people in those games,” he adds.
There is unease with some, particularly the older generation, where online friends are concerned. Their life, face, voice and sometimes even their names can be unknown for a long time. These are all factors that naturally came with the act of communication before social media platforms became popular. Of course, it’s not entirely without reason where minors are concerned but, with proper warnings and guidance from adults around, they do not pose major issues unless ignored. It may not seem likely at first, but there are some online friendships that transcend all the boundaries set in real life.
“Most of my friends aren’t from my country. Some are from Spain, Nepal, US (California), Singapore, Sri Lanka and only about 2-3 from India. The conversations usually started with either novels or anime on Instagram then as we exchanged recommendations, we got to know each other,” says Schnyda Zuzarte, a 20 year-old history student from Guirim.
“I’ve had a handful of online friendships since my teens, most of which fizzled out eventually. The one that does remain is a bond I cherish deeply though —we met on Facebook in the late 2000s,” says 30 year old Krithika Pradeep, a content strategist based in Panjim. She adds, “I believe that forming a relationship with a stranger over the internet can be a meaningful experience for people who prefer the written word over verbal communication.”
Why she thought making online friends was growing in popularity? Krithika replies, “In my experience, texting can be more fulfilling when it comes to expressing my innermost thoughts to the other person, or geeking out over shared interests and pop culture. Maybe the lack of other stimuli such as having to pay attention to body language, tone of voice and other factors lends texting a sense of comforting anonymity which helps a lot of people open up more than they usually would in person.”
“I’ve heard a lot of people say that their online friends are the ones who stayed the longest through thick and thin, without judging you. I guess people prefer to invest their trust and find comfort in people like these since online people don’t really have any expectations from you and there’s no question of disappointing them,” adds Schnyda.
So it can be inferred that online friends usually come about when people in one’s environment do not share as many interests with them or may even consider their interests bland. Just like how you would normally be with any other friends, online friends sometimes stay and sometimes they don’t. In that manner, all bonds could be considered a dynamic thing.
“I had a couple of online friends when I was around 16-17 when I was in higher secondary school, which is odd because that was when I last had the most number of friends in real life. I met most of them through gaming/PUBG since that was really popular at the time,” says Merlyn De Souza, a 21 year-old Arts student residing in Mapusa. “Most of these people were from across India like Bangalore, Mumbai, Delhi and even the North East. We’ve fallen out of touch now but we still follow each other on Instagram and message each other now and then.”
There are all sorts of stories with regards to forming friendships. The only difference about it being online or offline is being sure about the identity of them and not getting too close if you aren’t. Of course, it doesn’t particularly guarantee a safe or good friendship even if it is someone you know in your immediate environment but at least there are ways you can prevent it when online.
Merlyn gives her opinion and advice by remarking, “I think making friends online is nice and you get to know people from around the world, but younger people might not be aware about how important it is to keep certain information private or how dangerous it can be to physically meet people you know online. It’s always best to be even more careful if it’s not someone you’ve known a long time.”
