We are human beings with windows to our souls in such a public place
and yet we feel that hiding behind the facade of a strained smile helps us get
away with deception. We all have moments of inner turmoil which feel like an
unending downward spiral, when everything we do seems futile and thus of no
use. We feel like we are on the brink of no return and the best option we would
then have would be to give up hope and isolate all those who care about us.
We lock ourselves away from reality and live in our darkness,
feeding off it and revelling in it. We pray that someone will notice but we
push ourselves to show an outward strength which we really don’t mean. We
pretend we are fine. When asked how we are, we reply almost out of habit, that
we are ‘Fine’. We have this unyielding feeling that it doesn’t really matter to
the other person and sometimes it really doesn’t, but when it does, we still
hide away from being honest with our feelings.
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As human beings we crave attention, but being the complex beings we
are, we refuse to let ourselves look weak even when we find it difficult to
move. Showing our vulnerability, in our opinion, is a sign of weakness. I have
felt this and acted in this way a number of times, but what we need to realise
is that we are pulling ourselves in two opposite directions and thus ripping
ourselves apart from the centre.
We need to step back and take a cue from nature here. When there is
inner turmoil deep within the earth, at some point or another, that fury
reaches the surface and ravages the outer world in the form of earthquakes,
landslides and all kinds of natural disasters. When we look at it from that
perspective, we can see how even within us, when there is chaos, no matter how
we try to mask it, it comes out, and when it does, all that follows is pain and
hurt. We explode when it isn’t required and cause the most injury to the people
who love us the most.
When someone cares about us enough to take the time to show concern,
we need to accept the help they want to give. When they care enough to sit by
and just listen, which, as a counsellor I know can be a very emotionally
draining process, you should feel the love that they have for you and with
that, feel blessed for having someone who cares. There are thousands out there
who would walk to the moon and back to feel that positive emotion from another
human being. You are privileged when there is genuine concern in your life. Don’t look at it as sympathy; look at is as a
strength.
I would like to end by saying this… I am fortunate to be
surrounded by people who give a damn… and so are you…
