Working as a mental health professional in the state of Goa, one thing that can be said with
absolute certainty is that therapy is considered to be a major taboo, especially
with adults. Today, parents are much more aware and accepting to visit a
counselor to help their children and adolescents to cope up with their issues,
nevertheless when it comes to their own problems, adults prefer to not consider
therapy as an option.
Therapy is considered to be one of the last resorts. Most people
who walk into the clinics of psychologists, come in only when they can no
longer deal and function in their environments. Just as we prolong our visits
to dentists until the pain can no longer be contained, we pretty much do the
same with our mental health.
It is important to realise that no problem exists in a single
continuum; it is usually a result of amalgamation of issues on multiple domains
of life, which involve personal, professional, career, social, romantic and
family.
Common facts about
therapy
It only works when you want it to work. Therapy is always a
voluntary process. Change can only be brought upon when one wants to change and
when one sees a particular problem with how things are currently going on or
how things are affecting you.
It takes a lot of effort and willingness to change. Therapy is
not a one-time destination, where all problems will magically be resolved after
one session. It takes a lot more than that.
A therapist is merely a facilitator who assists in helping the
client become aware of their behavioural, emotional and cognitive patterns. The
substantial work is usually done outside the realms of the therapy room with
assistance of homework given forth by the therapist. 90% of work is done in the
client’s own environment.
Talking about issues
helps
A lot of us think that talking about issues does not help and we
have our friends and family to discuss our grievances. However, any
conversations with friends or family do come with their own set of judgments,
perceptions of reality, accompanied by what is right or wrong. In therapy, the
same conversation is focused in gaining awareness and insights and to help the
client look at all domains of the problem in an objective manner.
One rule that most therapists follow is no advising the client.
After discussing the issues at hand in general, we commonly ask they client
what they expect from therapy. Based on the answers received, a treatment
method is decided.
The primary goal of the sessions is to ensure that the client
becomes more independent and autonomous to cope effectively with his or her
issues.
Why are people afraid
to seek professional help?
Opening a can of worms: Most people come into therapy focusing on
only one spectrum of the problem. Therapy can bring forth a lot of awareness
about one’s self than one is prepared to handle. We prefer living in a narrated
storyline repeated over a period of time of how we are and the way we are.
Therapy can bring about drastic changes in that storyline that not everyone is
prepared to handle.
Resistance to change: Most of us are predominantly conscious
about our problem areas and are more importantly content with complaining and
whining about our issues than actively dealing with them. Therapy is all about
making changes in our personal lives, which again not all of us are ready to
deal with.
Misconceptions and misunderstandings: Therapy does not have a prefixed route.
All therapists are different based on their own personality traits and
qualifications. A lot of times, we hold preconceived notions of what therapy is
about. It is important to get all queries resolved before beginning the process
Concept of privacy and confidentiality: The most salient factor. It can be very
scary to talk about extremely intimate and personal things to a complete
stranger. As professional therapists, we strive to maintain the identity of all
our patients confidential, abided by a strict contract.
Do I “need” therapy?
Therapy works the best when it is a voluntary choice by the
client. The highest chances of therapy working are when the client is accepting
towards the fact that there are some underlying issues which might require
assistance or help from a professional.
Most often people think that they need a particular reason to
come in for therapy. It is not true. Therapy is a process of discovering our
own selves. Therapy can help us to learn what we are feeling and where it is
coming from along with bringing light upon appropriate healthy coping
mechanisms to deal with it. Everyone requires certain assistance to make his or
her lives a little better from time to time.
Few tips before
beginning therapy
Make a list of queries and concerns to ask your therapist before
beginning the process.
Decide what you want of therapy, even if it is vague and
general, a rough idea of what you would expect out of therapy.
Do it only for yourself. For some people it doesn’t go well or
as expected because they enter it for someone else.
One thing we need to prepare for prior to entering session is
Change. There is a reason that the current chosen life is not necessarily
working out for you.
Therapy works at its best pace when you use the time in between
sessions to reflect, introspect and do the required homework prior coming for
the next session.
Just because you take a break in between therapy doesn’t mean
you cannot go back. One of the things people struggle with is going back to the
therapist after ghosting them for whatever reasons. Sometimes we just require
our time to analyse and let the information seek in, or become ready to accept
things. Your therapist will not be upset with you just because you took some
time off.
Therapy is all about you. You get to decide what you want and
what you don’t want. Express yourself freely.
Feel free to ask your therapist about their qualifications and
experience level during the first session.
The
writer is a psychotherapist and the Founder of Soul Healing
