Today we celebrate Mothers Day. It is a celebration honouring the mother of the family or individual, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on different days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. Here in India, the modern Mother’s Day has been assimilated into the local culture and is celebrated every year on the second Sunday of May. Indians do not celebrate the occasion as a religious event; its celebration is mostly restricted to urban areas where the occasion has been largely commercialized. Mothers are a role model without a doubt. Many of them ensure their families move along smoothly everyday and some even run successful businesses with their husbands or their children. Their hands are certainly full but they seem to be able to deal with it all with great panache.
That could be the perfect description of someone like Philomena Fernandes and Elijio Fernandes. They both run a very popular bar in Arpora. Elijio said his grandfather set up the bar in the seventies. Then his father ran it but after his death it was given out on rent to a third party. He said “I was working in another place and my mom had set up a stall selling tongue roast, beef or pork stew which was popular from my grandfather’s time. Then the virus struck and ensured everything was stopped. The people running the restaurant put their hands up saying there was no revenue and left”. This prompted a move to run the bar again. He, his sister Evelyn and mother Philomena decided to run it together. Elijio said the experience had been “fantastic”. He said “My relationship with my mom is that of a friend. I grew up with her and so that certainly helps. We talk very calmly with each other. If I present a good idea she will enthusiastically encourage and support me. When we are in the restaurant, we are workers and nothing comes between us. If any decision has to be taken we sit together and decide during the break. For Philomena it is a fantastic opportunity to work with her children. She said “I am happy, I am working with my family and taking decisions together and implementing them. I am happy to work with my children, to listen to them and exchange ideas. We start prepping in the morning and the restaurant opens at 6clock and we shut by 1 o’clock. As a mother I am happy we are doing well and my kids are making their life. What more can a mother ask for.”
She used to be a teacher but now supplies pork to establishments in Mapusa. Lorna Dsilva and her son Jervis wake up every morning at 3 clock to slaughter the pig and then clean it up and then transport it to Mapusa from Parra. Jervis said this was a business her father had started twenty nine years ago and he had joined twelve to thirteen year ago. His mother now handles the accounts and gives him advice which he is wise enough to follow to a t. He said “My mother is focused and helps me stay that way. She emphasizes the importance of not giving credit and closing all the deals with immediate payment. She is me every step of the way. She wakes up with me at 3’ o clock. My mom is my plus”. Lorna was extremely busy due to some emergency and was not able to speak but her son said she was without a doubt the engine behind the entire operation.
And then there is Sucheta and Anu Vishwanathan. Dr Sucheta is a doctor who also went to the Royal College of Homeopathy and also did her BA in ancient civilizations. Now in her seventies, she runs a home stay in Goa with her daughter who is a communication consultant in the state. Anu said it was an interesting experience because she was working with her mother. She said “My mom does not know certain things about modern marketing, so I am there on that front. Yes, the dynamics of a mother and daughter are present. We know each other so well. It is easy to be in such a partnership. Even if we have our disagreements, it gets sorted out. When we are working, she is my partner, she analyses a situation and suggests suitable action.” For Dr Sucheta Vishwanathan, working with her daughter was a very good experience. She said “We have similar ideas, on occasions we may argue but we work it out at the end of it all. It is an experience working with your daughter”.
For mothers who are in many cases the foundation of the family, it would make a lot of sense if society was more open in their appreciation of them who in any case make up fifty percent of the population.
