With the times evolving as quickly as they
are and with women’s rights coming to the forefront along with an acceptance of
the fact that women are, in fact, not the ‘weaker’ sex, marriage has become a
choice for today’s modern woman. It is no longer part of the inevitable plan
which charts a woman’s life from infancy, to adolescence and inevitable,
marital bliss. In Goa, and, in fact, the whole of India, women are standing up
for their rights and saying no to marriage, or are, at the very least, delaying
it till they are ready to take the plunge.
Vajra Aigal is all of 27 years and is the
Assistant Manager of a popular radio station in Goa. Originally from Margao,
Vajra moved closer to her workplace, to Miramar, few months ago and since then
life for her has never been more comfortable. However, like most girls, she has
had her share of experiencing a subtle push from her parents, asking her to get
hitched. Vajra, on the other hand, is in no hurry and is willing to wait for
the right guy with whom she can spend her life. She says, “Personally, if you
ask me, I like the kind of life I’m living right now. I have lived with my
parents for almost 21 years and followed the rules and regulations that they
had set for me. I moved out so that I can explore and get the real taste of the
world. My parents feel that I should get married this very moment. According to
them, if age catches up with me, I won’t find anyone to marry. But I feel that
marriage can wait. There is no point in rushing into something as important as
marriage. If I find a sensible guy and we happen to be on the same page, I have
absolutely no problem in getting married…but I think that’s a little
difficult.”
Akin to Vajra, many other working women
choose to concentrate on work and seem to have little interest in marriage.
Sowmya Jagannath, a PR professional who frequents Goa on business, says, “I
don’t believe in marriage as I believe that it is the society that has made
marriage mandatory. I don’t agree with the concept of leading my life by social
rules. Why am I single? Because I am currently focusing on setting up my
business and hence, have no time to look out for romance. I’d rather utilise my
energies in the business.”
While most girls agree that marriage is a
personal choice and the society has got nothing to do with it, they also agree
to the fact that more than our parents, it is the people that surround us who
seem to be most interested in it. Pearl Mascarenhas (name changed on request)
from Margao, another young girl who is facing social pressure, says, “Why is
getting married a compulsion in India? When you go past 25, everyone is finding
you a spouse. I don’t see this kind of obsession in other (especially European)
countries. Why is this? A boy or girl may not even want to get married. Why do
we make getting a hubby or wife this big a deal? And most interestingly, if you
say you don’t want to get married, they will either think you are a crazy old
lunatic, or you have a serious problem or you are joking. Come on guys, it’s my
life…I will decide when and whether I marry or not.”
