There is a reason behind why we behave in a certain way or react in a situation and it all stems from
how our mind has been trained. As a professional executive coach certified in
Neuro Linguistic Programming and Transactional Analysis, Vishal Jacob, in
writing his debut book, ‘Connecting with Yourself-– Why we think, feel and act
the way we do’,has leaned on various studies in the fields of neuroscience and
psychology to focus on key elements that make us who we are.
Born in Mapusa and living in Duler,
Vishal’s parents were teachers who made it very clear that his future depended
on his proficiency in maths and science. He pursued Mass Communications for his
master’s degree and went on to become the Vice President of Digital Marketing
at Wavmaker India, one of India’s top media and marketing agencies.
“As a child, my parents used to have long
conversations with my school principal. The three of them were friends, all
working in the field of education, though at different schools. The
conversations often turned to philosophy, spirituality and life in general. I
used to hide behind the balcony door and listen to these conversations. Some of
these talks had a lasting impact on me, especially on the way I looked at life.
When I joined Maxus (now Wavemaker), I had a wonderful boss who gave me
complete freedom and helped me blossom into who I am today. When he elevated me
to a national role, I had to deal with challenges in all the three offices in
India. I found that most issues were people related,” says Vishal on what made
him write the book.
He adds, “I read extensively and spent a lot of my personal time
on the subject. I began applying the ideas I read about at work during sessions
with my teams. My boss challenged me to put all my learnings down in a book. I
put some chapters together initially only thinking they would make a good gift
for my son (currently 7) on his 18th birthday. When I shared the manuscript
with friends and family, they seemed to love it. So I eventually went on to
publishing it.”
The real challenge for Vishal was to put together all that he
had learnt over the years and also present it in a relatable and interesting manner.
His reading and gathering of information took about four years and another year
and a half went into shaping those ideas into a book. Every chapter of the book
begins with an anecdote from his life, which helps in making the concept easier
to understand. “A dry handling of the subject mentioning all the theories would
make this book purely a scientific primer – a repository of all the research
done by people over decades. It would not be able to serve my main purpose of
encouraging the reader to reflect on each of his/her own behaviours pertaining
to habits, decisions, biases, willpower, stress, happiness, etc – the main
chapters in my book. I thought the best way to make things relatable would be
by sharing a personal incident before explaining a scientific theory,” he says.
Vishal made time to write the book and shared his writings with
his wife for her point of view and her opinion did matter. “Since the two of us
think differently we would debate hard on every point and what has been finally
published is a result of that. I attribute a lot of my writing to my wife’s
ability of sharing her perspective, helping me in my work and pushing me to get
better at articulating my thoughts.”
Being the debut book, Vishal went the self-publishing way to get
it out to the audience. He shares that experience: “It has been a bitter-sweet
symphony. Bitter, because I had very little help or advise and it is difficult
to bring out a book for the very first time without guidance; I had to pretty
much do it all by myself. Sweet, because self-publishing allowed me to express
myself the way I wanted to with no publisher pressure whatsoever.”
Despite the seriousness of the topic, Vishal has made a
conscious effort to keep the book simple and applicable to everyone. “I believe
this book will tend to be more appealing to young and middle level working
professionals or to students as these groups are in the crux of trying to find
their standing in the world. My belief has always been to approach everything
by first being in tune with one self. I have provided key takeaway pointers
that summarise each chapter in a single page. These are mainly aimed at young
readers who may prefer light reading,” explains Vishal.
The
book can be purchased online on Amazon, Flipkart, Infibeam, Kindle, Google Play
and iBooks. It will also be available in stores within a few weeks.
